IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3

Some say that the standard of behavior among children has worsened and that this is their parents' fault; others say that schools are to blame. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

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Introduction
Some
group
Fix the agreement mistake
groups
show examples
 of people may agree that
today
Use synonyms
's
children
Use synonyms
 are not
will
Correct your spelling
well
show examples
 behaved as they should be. In support
to
Change preposition
of
show examples
this
Linking Words
claim
Add a comma
claim,
show examples
 multiple studies
has
Change the verb form
have
show examples
 shown an increase in
childeren
Correct your spelling
children
 behavior in
bad
Change the article
a bad
show examples
 way.
Nevertheless
Linking Words
, other studies
has
Change the verb form
have
show examples
 shown the opposite of what
group
Correct article usage
a group
show examples
 of people might think.
Body paragraph 1
However
Linking Words
, no one can blame
Correct article usage
the parent
show examples
parent
Fix the agreement mistake
parents
show examples
nor
Correct word choice
or
show examples
 the schools since
its
Correct pronoun usage
they
show examples
 fosters multiple
group
Change to a plural noun
groups
show examples
 of
children
Use synonyms
whom
Change the pronoun
who
show examples
 are
well behaved
Add a hyphen
well-behaved
show examples
 and
presnted
Correct your spelling
presented
. Both of them have a clear rule and
responsibilites
Correct your spelling
responsibilities
 impacting
Use synonyms
children
Change noun form
children's
show examples
behaviors
Change the spelling
behaviours
show examples
.
Body paragraph 2
Moreover
Linking Words
, in
today
Use synonyms
's
soical
Correct your spelling
social
 media area where
children
Use synonyms
 are more exposed to the world. Most
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
children
Use synonyms
today
Use synonyms
has
Correct subject-verb agreement
have
show examples
 access to multiple platforms which will influence the
child
Use synonyms
 in
way
Correct pronoun usage
one way
show examples
 or another.
Body paragraph 3
Neveretheless
Correct your spelling
Nevertheless
, in my
opinon
Correct your spelling
opinion
 school and
parents
Use synonyms
 share
enugh
Correct your spelling
enough
 portion of the time
where
Correct word choice
when
show examples
 the
children
Use synonyms
 are in school the education system must give
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
show examples
regular reports on each
child
Use synonyms
 to the
parents
Use synonyms
 which will give
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
feedback on the
child
Use synonyms
.
On the other
Linking Words
hand
Add a comma
hand,
show examples
parents
Use synonyms
 must keep an eye on their
children
Use synonyms
 since behaving
children
Use synonyms
are
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
rely more on the
Use synonyms
parents
Change to a genitive case
parent's
parents'
show examples
 hands
instead
Linking Words
 of
school
Correct article usage
the school
show examples
 whom are responsible more on
educating
Correct pronoun usage
educating them
show examples
.
Conclusion
In
cunclostion
Correct your spelling
conclusion
,
children
Use synonyms
 of
today
Use synonyms
 are more
talnted
Correct your spelling
talented
 since they have easy access to multiple
platform
Change to a plural noun
platforms
show examples
 to feed on and get knowledge.
However
Linking Words
, if the
child
Use synonyms
 is not
will
Correct your spelling
well
show examples
 mentored and get consistent feedback they will not know what is right or wrong. I believe the
beaving
Correct your spelling
beating
bearing
 of
children
Use synonyms
rely
Correct subject-verb agreement
relies
show examples
 on both parties.

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coherence and cohesion
Try to have a clear structure in your essay with a strong introduction and conclusion.
task achievement
Give specific examples to support your points more strongly.
coherence and cohesion
Check for spelling and grammar errors to improve the overall quality of your writing.
task achievement
You presented both sides of the argument, which is great for discussion.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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