Some people think that shops should sell food products from the local areas rather than products from other countries. Do you agree or disagree?

Many people
believed
Wrong verb form
believe
show examples
that the vendors should
selling
Change the verb form
sell
be selling
show examples
products of
food
Use synonyms
by
the
Remove the article
apply
show examples
their own locality rather than supplies from other nations. I do totally agree with
this
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outcome, there are many benefits from
this
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perspective and my essay below will
shows
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show
show examples
two
avantages
Correct your spelling
advantages
of supported local products.
Firstly
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,
Use synonyms
Food
Correct article usage
the Food
show examples
factor is significant for the whole
contry
Correct your spelling
country
,
especaily
Correct your spelling
especially
,
Correct word choice
because supports
show examples
supports
Wrong verb form
supporting
show examples
local
food
Use synonyms
means
give
Wrong verb form
giving
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the local farmers financial support as well.
for example
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,
report
Add an article
a report
the report
show examples
from
Holand's
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Holand
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government in 2000, Holand's farmers were massive
benifits
Correct your spelling
benefits
from the
scemes
Correct your spelling
schemes
of rural
food
Use synonyms
,
the
Correct word choice
and the
show examples
sale
Fix the agreement mistake
sales
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proporation
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proportion
soared to its peak over 1
years
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year
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of programs.
Secondly
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, immersion of support own goods can
also
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expand
oppurturnities
Correct your spelling
opportunities
of jobs for their citizens.
for instance
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, In Cambodia there are more than 30%
adults
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of adults
show examples
who
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
immigrating
Wrong verb form
immigrate
show examples
to work in other
contries
Correct your spelling
countries
due to
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the lack of job
oppoturnities
Correct your spelling
opportunities
in
own
Correct pronoun usage
their own
show examples
country,
then
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after
encorage
Correct your spelling
encouragement
of support local goods and
place
Wrong verb form
placing
show examples
more jobs on the market, the statistics of working abroad declined to 10%. in conclusion, it is
nessessary
Correct your spelling
necessary
for citizens to change their
habbits
Correct your spelling
habits
to buy more local
food
Use synonyms
products
more
Correct quantifier usage
apply
show examples
Linking Words
then
Replace the word
than
show examples
abroad's goods. as they can help their own people to have enough financial safety and working places.

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Task Achievement
Make sure to develop your ideas more fully in each paragraph. Provide more examples and explanations to support your points.
Coherence and Cohesion
Try to use clearer topic sentences at the beginning of each paragraph to help the reader follow your argument.
Coherence and Cohesion
Work on grammar and spelling. Proofreading your work can help you find and fix these issues before submitting.
Task Achievement
You have a clear opinion on the topic, which is good for task achievement.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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