some children spend most of their free time taking part in clubs and other planned activities do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?
Nowadays, parents tend to attend their youngsters in several classes.
This
trend can end up fine for children
, but it can also
damage them. I personaly
think that the drawbacks are more than the benefits. In Correct your spelling
personally
this
essay, I wil
consider both views and give my opinion.
One of Correct your spelling
will
a
main Correct article usage
the
experience
in any Person's life is their childhood and the way that they are raised because it has Fix the agreement mistake
experiences
direct
Add an article
a direct
affect
on shaping their personality and future choices .
When Correct your spelling
effect
Children
have many pre-planned activities to do in their leisure time, they get tired and lose the time that they could have so much fun and interactions with other kids to evolve and find their interests. As a result
, they may end up being a person who has a few childhood experiences and a carier
which they do not like.
Correct your spelling
career
carrier
On the other hand
, there are some specific classes for children
to find their talent. In those special places, children
will be measured mentally by some specialised psycological
tests Correct your spelling
psychological
which are
Verb problem
that
involved
Wrong verb form
involve
with
painting and talking. So, they can find out if the child is good at art or math or others. Change preposition
apply
Then
,when parents find what their child is good at, they can send their youngster to that specific club and will build their child's or children
's prosparity
as they have found their passion .
Correct your spelling
prosperity
To sum up
, the negative points of filling children
's free time with plenty of activities can be vary
, but engaging them in
one correct activity can bring them a bright future.Change the verb form
vary
Submitted by TUTOO on
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relevant specific examples
Your essay should include more specific examples or statistics to support your points. While you discuss the general impacts on children, an example of a particular situation or study would strengthen your argument.
clear comprehensive ideas
There are some spelling and grammatical errors, such as 'personal,' 'will,' 'experience,' 'affect,' 'career,' 'measured,' 'prosperity,' and 'various,' that need correction. While these don't drastically hinder understanding, they can detract from the overall professionalism and clarity of your writing.
introduction conclusion present
Your introduction clearly presents the topic and your stance, which is essential for setting up your argument.
introduction conclusion present
You have a strong conclusion that effectively summarizes your main points and restates your opinion. This gives a sense of completeness to your essay.
logical structure
Your essay maintains a logical flow, particularly in how you transition between the negative and positive aspects of planned activities for children.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+
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