some children spend most of their free time taking part in clubs and other planned activities do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

#children #time #part #clubs #activities #outweigh

Nowadays, parents tend to attend their youngsters in several classes.

This

trend can end up fine for

children

, but it can

also

damage them. I

personaly

Correct your spelling

personally

think that the drawbacks are more than the benefits. In

this

essay, I

wil

Correct your spelling

will

consider both views and give my opinion. One of

Correct article usage

the

show examples

main

experience

Fix the agreement mistake

experiences

show examples

in any Person's life is their childhood and the way that they are raised because it has

direct

Add an article

a direct

show examples

affect

Correct your spelling

effect

show examples

on shaping their personality and future choices . When

Children

have many pre-planned activities to do in their leisure time, they get tired and lose the time that they could have so much fun and interactions with other kids to evolve and find their interests.

As a result

, they may end up being a person who has a few childhood experiences and a

carier

Correct your spelling

career

carrier

which they do not like.

On the other hand

, there are some specific classes for

children

to find their talent. In those special places,

children

will be measured mentally by some specialised

psycological

Correct your spelling

psychological

tests

which are

Verb problem

that

show examples

involved

Wrong verb form

involve

show examples

with

Change preposition

apply

show examples

painting and talking. So, they can find out if the child is good at art or math or others.

Then

,when parents find what their child is good at, they can send their youngster to that specific club and will build their child's or

children

prosparity

Correct your spelling

prosperity

as they have found their passion .

To sum up

, the negative points of filling

children

's free time with plenty of activities can

be vary

Change the verb form

vary

show examples

, but engaging them in one correct activity can bring them a bright future.

Submitted by TUTOO on Thu Jul 11 2024

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relevant specific examples

Your essay should include more specific examples or statistics to support your points. While you discuss the general impacts on children, an example of a particular situation or study would strengthen your argument.

clear comprehensive ideas

There are some spelling and grammatical errors, such as 'personal,' 'will,' 'experience,' 'affect,' 'career,' 'measured,' 'prosperity,' and 'various,' that need correction. While these don't drastically hinder understanding, they can detract from the overall professionalism and clarity of your writing.

introduction conclusion present

Your introduction clearly presents the topic and your stance, which is essential for setting up your argument.

introduction conclusion present

You have a strong conclusion that effectively summarizes your main points and restates your opinion. This gives a sense of completeness to your essay.

logical structure

Your essay maintains a logical flow, particularly in how you transition between the negative and positive aspects of planned activities for children.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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6Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
13Grammar mistakes
 

6 paragraphs

256 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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some children spend most of their free time taking part in clubs and other planned activities do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

Fully explain your ideas

it has been claimed that over 50 are not responsive to rapidly changing ideas in the modern workplace and that for this reason younger workers are to be preferred. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some cities have few control over design and construction on housing and office buildings. People think that they are free to choose the design they like. Do you think the advantages outweigh disadvantages?

There should be strict laws banning people from taking photographs of people under 18 in order to protect young celebrities and the children of celebrities. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

some experts belive that it is better for childern to begain learning a foeign language at primary schools rather than secondary school. do the advantage of this outweight the diadvantages?