IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Some countries are building new roads and facilities to make remote culture heritage sites such as archaeological ruins in the Jungle accessible to a great number of tourist. Is this a positive or negative development?. give reason for your answer and include any relevant example from your knowledge.

An increasing number of countries are choosing to increase tourism by constructing
role
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roles
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 and other facilities that increase access to famous cultural heritage
sites
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. In my opinion,
this
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 is a negative development because it can damage the environment and site either by accident or on purpose. The primary concern about increased tourism is unintentional harm to the environment. Litre and other pollution are obvious problems, but there are more subtle ways that even conscientious guests can hurt fragile
ecosystem
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ecosystems
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.
For instance
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, I heard that by stepping off the
marked
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mark
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visitor
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visitors
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 are trampling endangered native plants in the area around
khan zoo
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Khan Zoo
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 a site that used to be very difficult to reach.
Further
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 major issue might be that the extra cars and buses strain the environment through increased noise pollution and exhaust.
Hence
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, tourism can harm the
sites
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 even when the
visitor
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visitors
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 are being careful. An additional reason for my stance is that some people intentionally vandalise
sites
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. If roads make it much easier to reach a site, someone may sneak in and steal valuable objects. A case in point is Tibet, which has many monasteries deep in the mountains that contain
centuries, old
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centuries-old
 statues. In the past, these
statue
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statues
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 were protected by the efforts of carrying the priceless relics over
roughterrain
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rough terrain
, but now roads make them easy to remove wires to sell on the black market.
Accordingly
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, security is compromised if accessibility is increased.
Therefore
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,
although
Linking Words
 it has become more popular for governments to make cultural
sites
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 easier for
tourist
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tourists
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 to reach, it has
bought
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brought
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 about too many problems like intentional, vandalism, and thoughtless pollution or damage for
this
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 to
consider
Wrong verb form
be considered
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 a positive trend

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structure
Make sure to clearly state your opinion in the introduction and summarize it in the conclusion.
examples
The examples provided illustrate your points well, such as the mention of endangered plants and the case in Tibet.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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