IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

People now have the freedom to work and live anywhere in the world due to the development of communication technology and transportation. Do the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?

We live in an era which has a faster rhythm than in the past in several fields, like transportation and the revolution of technology, which has made communication easier and swifter.
This
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 development has made changes in people's lives,
such
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 as the freedom to
work
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 and live anywhere in the world. In
this
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 essay, I will discuss the positive and negative aspects of
this
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 improvement associated with my perspective on
this
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 progress. Initiating the benefits of the same. First and foremost,
due to
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 rapid transportation and communication, it is easier now to
work
Use synonyms
 in another place across the world, and
this
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 gives individuals the opportunity to obtain better chances for their careers, which contributes to building a successful career.
For instance
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,
work
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 for big companies that give employees the ability to get higher salaries in the future.
Secondly
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, exposure to other cultures can be beneficial in maintaining an extremely wide experience, like people who
work
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 in trade, they can get the advantage of working with different nationalities.
On the other hand
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, living abroad has many disadvantages that not everyone is able to handle.
Firstly
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, living far away from families and friends, with the absence of physical communication is an issue for many.
For example
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, video calls are insufficient for the human's innate needs; we need to feel the whole package of emotions during talks, like the language of the body.
In addition
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, loneliness is one of the major problems in
this
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 matter,
as well as
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 homesickness. These feelings might make some neglect the benefits of their study or working in other countries. A recent study conducted on 115 persons living outside their country showed that 41% of them experienced homesickness in the first year, and 23% experienced loneliness in the second year. In my opinion, it seems to me that
this
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 is generally a positive development
due to
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 the several benefits they get from
such
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 an advantage.
Furthermore
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, tackling minor challenges is easier for a person rather than suffering in the future, especially after retirement, which is harder
due to
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 the less power in elderly people. So, I believe in taking the better chances despite the challenges. To sum it up, working or living abroad is not a completely bad thing to do. It is like that it has both good and bad sides.
However
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, it is obvious that the advantages outweigh the disadvantages
due to
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 the future of these gays when they come back with a wide experience and much knowledge in their profession.

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task response
Make sure your introduction clearly states your opinion or your main argument. This helps the reader understand your essay's direction right away.
coherence and cohesion
Use clearer topic sentences at the start of each paragraph. This guides the reader through your ideas better and makes your structure stronger.
task response
Try to include a little more detail in your examples. This will make them more convincing and help support your main points more effectively.
task achievement
Your essay covers both sides of the argument, which is important.
task achievement
You have relevant examples that help explain your points clearly.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • communication technology
  • transportation
  • advantages
  • disadvantages
  • freedom
  • work and live
  • development
  • increased job opportunities
  • flexibility
  • work-life balance
  • cultural exposure
  • diversity
  • economic growth
  • globalization
  • social isolation
  • loneliness
  • loss of community
  • sense of belonging
  • expensive cost of living
  • housing
  • strain on infrastructure
  • resources
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