In many societies, there is a growing emphasis on individualism, with people prioritizing their personal goals and desires over collective interests. Is this a positive or negative development?

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I ndividualism

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Individualism

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is becoming very common in

this

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modern era where individuals prioritize their personal aims and aspirations over common interests. I believe

this

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has a good impact on society and

this

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essay will outline positive aspects of individualism in the following paragraphs including relevant examples. First of all, there are several good reasons to advocate individualism.

Firstly

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, focusing more on themselves helps improve personal growth.

In other words

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, focusing on personal aims brings more innovation

as well as

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new creative ideas which helps in developing the human mind.

Secondly

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, another merit point could be personal freedom. To add to it, people can choose their interests to focus on rather than choosing someone else's path.

For example

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, in the past, parents used to set goals for their children but nowadays, children are given the opportunity to choose their field of interest which

subsequently

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improves understanding.

Furthermore

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, working on separate aims or aspirations can lead to achieving inner satisfaction.

Moreover

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, doing something interesting gives more energy and a level of satisfaction

instead

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of doing something under the influence of others.

Additionally

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, following personal dreams teaches about risk assessment and helps to think outside of the box. In simple terms, people tend to take more risks to reach their destination when they are working on their own interests.

For Example

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, Elon Musk, a billionaire, wrote in his autobiography that studying and working solely on his dreams made him more successful

as well as

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hard by tackling all the ups and downs alone. In a nutshell, individuality plays an important role which bringing self-satisfaction, personal freedom, and creative thoughts

as well as

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helps to improve personal growth.

Also

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, makes human beings risk-takers by fighting for their goals.

Manpreet Singh Wed Dec 25 2024

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coherence cohesion

Ensure that each paragraph focuses on a single main idea. When introducing an example, make sure the connection to the main idea is clear and directly supports your argument.

coherence cohesion

Focus on paragraph development by using clearer topic sentences that indicate the main point being discussed. Use transitional phrases more effectively to improve the flow from one paragraph to another.

task achievement

Expand your ideas with more detailed explanations and thorough reasoning to fully develop your arguments. This will enhance the depth of your essay.

task achievement

Consider addressing potential counterarguments to strengthen your discussion and make your position more persuasive.

coherence cohesion

The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, effectively framing the discussion of individualism.

task achievement

Examples, such as the reference to Elon Musk, are relevant and well-chosen to support the points being made.

coherence cohesion

The overall structure of the essay is logical, with a coherent progression from introduction to conclusion.

12
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meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

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Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

6.5

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.5

Complete response

6.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

284 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

fosters
innovation
autonomy
align with
excessive
social isolation
community bonds
solely
social classes
entrepreneurship
economic development
empathy
societal cohesion
collective well-being
vulnerable

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In many societies, there is a growing emphasis on individualism, with people prioritizing their personal goals and desires over collective interests. Is this a positive or negative development?

Computer games and films containing violence are popular today. Some people think that these are harmful for our society and the government should ban them. Other argue that such games and films are fun for entertainment. Discuss both views and give your opinion

Some parents give their children everything that their children ask for or allow them to do whatever they want to do. Is this good for children? What could be the consequences for these children when they grow up?

Children are generally more successful in foreign language studies than adults. Thus, it is better to learn language in childhood. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

The percentage of overweight children in western countries has increased by almost 20% in the last ten years. Discuss the possible causes and effects of this disturbing trend and offer a solution.

Some university students want to learn about other subjects in addition to their main subjects. Others believe it is more important to give all their time and attention to studying for a qualification. Discuss both views and give your opinion.