IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3.5

Some people regard eating meat as completely wrong. To what extent do you agree? - we do not have a lot of alternatives - meat some itmes is easier to produce - we should have meat to get vitamins

While
Linking Words
 many
thinks
Change the verb form
think
show examples
 that having
meat
Use synonyms
 as the main food
choices
Fix the agreement mistake
choice
show examples
 is
totally
Add an article
the totally
a totally
show examples
 wrong decision. I strongly disagree with that idea because of the following high health risks. On the one hand, most vegetarians believe the idea
of
Change preposition
that
show examples
 eating
meat
Use synonyms
 is cruel to
animals
Change noun form
animals'
animal's
show examples
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
show examples
.
Due to
Linking Words
 the growing population in the world, the rising demand for
meat
Use synonyms
 products will
also
Linking Words
 lead to a significant rise in livestock deaths. And the unbalance between demand and expenditure for
meat
Use synonyms
 might destroy the ecosystem of animals. To protect the natural environment, vegetarians choose to stop eating
meat
Use synonyms
 for meals.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, restricting all
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
meat
Use synonyms
 consumption is too extreme.
Meat
Use synonyms
 products
owns it
Verb problem
have
show examples
 benefits that vegetables can't provide to
human
Add an article
the human
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 body, only
accept
Wrong verb form
accepting
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 vegetables for intake might cause a huge amount of health concerns.
For instance
Linking Words
, some
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
vegans
Fix the agreement mistake
vegan
show examples
 parents would choose to limit their children
for
Change preposition
from
show examples
 eating
meat
Use synonyms
 because of
the
Correct determiner usage
this
show examples
 belief.
However
Linking Words
,the energy and vitamins of
vegetarian
Replace the word
vegetarianism
show examples
 cannot support the
need
Fix the agreement mistake
needs
show examples
for
Change preposition
of
show examples
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
show examples
growing children which
cause
Correct subject-verb agreement
causes
show examples
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 lack of nutrients.
Although
Linking Words
 most of them will choose to take supplements for the replacement of
meat
Use synonyms
,it doesn't mean
that is
Linking Words
 harmless to the body function. The
over relying
Correct your spelling
over-reliance
show examples
for
Change the preposition
on
upon
show examples
 finding
replacement
Add an article
a replacement
show examples
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
meat
Use synonyms
 may
also
Linking Words
 increase the risk of the addition to medication. In conclusion, the resistance
of
Change preposition
to
show examples
 eating
meat
Use synonyms
 isn't
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 right way to prevent the damage to ecosystem.People should be more aware
to
Change preposition
of
show examples
 their own body function
but
Correct word choice
and
show examples
 not
omly
Correct your spelling
only
 focus on
the
Change the word
their
show examples
 food choices.

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task achievement
Make sure to clearly state your main point in the introduction. It helps guide the reader.
coherence cohesion
Use more connecting words to make your ideas flow better, like 'firstly', 'secondly', and 'in addition'.
task achievement
Try to add clear examples for each point you make to support your ideas stronger.
coherence cohesion
Avoid long sentences that can confuse the reader; keep them simple and clear.
task achievement
You have presented a clear disagreement with the idea that eating meat is wrong. This is good for your argument.
task achievement
You have included both vegetarian and meat-eating perspectives, which shows you understand the topic well.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • dietary staple
  • essential vitamins and minerals
  • plant-based diets
  • economic efficiency
  • livelihoods
  • meat production
  • animal welfare
  • environmental sustainability
  • plant-based alternatives
  • ethical issues
  • humane sources
  • sufficiency
What to do next:
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