IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

More and more students are choosing to study at colleges and universities in foreign countries. Do the benefits of studying abroad outweigh the drawbacks?

Many more pupils are going for abroad studies at colleges and universities. The major drawbacks where
students
Use synonyms
 face numerous personal
as well as
Linking Words
 social issues and feelings of homesickness.
On the contrary
Linking Words
, The foremost essential benefits
such
Linking Words
 as quality
education
Use synonyms
, and familiarity with other communities' cultures. Studying in foreign countries advantages outweigh the disadvantages. On the one hand,
while
Linking Words
 learning,
students
Use synonyms
 do face social problems
such
Linking Words
 as trying to make new friends in foreign countries
along with
Linking Words
 good communication with people.
Moreover
Linking Words
, being away from their loved ones feels lonely and remembering family can make them strong enough as a social person.
For instance
Linking Words
, scientific research has revealed that abroad
students
Use synonyms
 are more concerned about getting a job in their respective country.
However
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
 concern makes
students
Use synonyms
 more responsible.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, wherever the quality of
education
Use synonyms
 is in any nation, pupils make their own way to grab it.
This
Linking Words
education
Use synonyms
 helps foreign
students
Use synonyms
 to fulfil their hard work into precious dreams.
In addition
Linking Words
,
students
Use synonyms
 get knowledge of other people's cultures and traditions which makes them comfortable in that country.
For instance
Linking Words
, Oxford University's research has published that 95% of pupils have achieved their dream jobs after completion of foreign studies.
Therefore
Linking Words
, learning quality
education
Use synonyms
 has more advantages to making candidates mentally strong for social and personal problems. In conclusion, the benefits of studying abroad are good opportunities to take and become successful.
while
Linking Words
 it has a lot of risk to pursue and convert into achievement. These ambitious dreams really need strong determination and a long time

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Make sure to include more clear examples to support your points. This will make your argument stronger.
coherence and cohesion
Try to connect your ideas better. Use linking words to help the flow of your essay.
coherence and cohesion
Work on your introduction and conclusion. Make them more clear and direct about your main point.
content
You provided good points about the benefits of studying abroad.
specific examples
Your examples, like the research from Oxford University, are relevant and helpful for your argument.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Cross-cultural understanding
  • Specialized courses
  • Personal growth
  • Financial strain
  • Tuition
  • Cultural differences
  • Isolation
  • Homesickness
  • Educational systems
  • Academic performance
What to do next:
Look at other essays: