IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

More and more students are choosing to study at colleges and universities in foreign countries. Do the benefits of studying abroad outweigh the drawbacks?

Many more pupils are going for abroad studies at colleges and universities. The major drawbacks where
students
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 face numerous personal
as well as
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 social issues and feelings of homesickness.
On the contrary
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, The foremost essential benefits
such
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 as quality
education
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, and familiarity with other communities' cultures. Studying in foreign countries advantages outweigh the disadvantages. On the one hand,
while
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 learning,
students
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 do face social problems
such
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 as trying to make new friends in foreign countries
along with
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 good communication with people.
Moreover
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, being away from their loved ones feels lonely and remembering family can make them strong enough as a social person.
For instance
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, scientific research has revealed that abroad
students
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 are more concerned about getting a job in their respective country.
However
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,
this
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 concern makes
students
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 more responsible.
On the other hand
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, wherever the quality of
education
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 is in any nation, pupils make their own way to grab it.
This
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education
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 helps foreign
students
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 to fulfil their hard work into precious dreams.
In addition
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,
students
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 get knowledge of other people's cultures and traditions which makes them comfortable in that country.
For instance
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, Oxford University's research has published that 95% of pupils have achieved their dream jobs after completion of foreign studies.
Therefore
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, learning quality
education
Use synonyms
 has more advantages to making candidates mentally strong for social and personal problems. In conclusion, the benefits of studying abroad are good opportunities to take and become successful.
while
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 it has a lot of risk to pursue and convert into achievement. These ambitious dreams really need strong determination and a long time.

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coherence and cohesion
Make sure to clearly present your main ideas in each paragraph. Use topic sentences to help the reader understand your points better.
task achievement
Provide more specific examples to support your ideas. Personal stories or statistics can make your arguments stronger.
coherence and cohesion
Try to improve the flow of your essay by linking your ideas more clearly. Use linking words like 'however', 'furthermore', and 'in addition'.
task achievement
You have identified both advantages and disadvantages clearly, which shows a balanced view of the topic.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion, which is good practice for academic writing.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Cross-cultural understanding
  • Specialized courses
  • Personal growth
  • Financial strain
  • Tuition
  • Cultural differences
  • Isolation
  • Homesickness
  • Educational systems
  • Academic performance
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