some toddlers are using mobile phones for hours each day. why is this the case?is this a positive or negative devlopment.

Nowadays many people give their children mobile phones for hours daily, and the
maine reasone
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main reason
behind
this
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t is that
,
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the parents need to do
thier
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their
own tasks in a clear head without distractions,
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however
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however,
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I believe giving them mobiles for more than two hours each day will
cuses
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causes
a bad impact on the children.
To begin
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with,
the
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adult people will give the kids devices to use for one clear reason, so they can do
thier
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their
work in a
quaite
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quiet
place without
noice
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notice
, as a
reasult
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result
of that,
the
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apply
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toddlers are going to use
th
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the
phones for
a
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apply
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long
period
Fix the agreement mistake
periods
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of time which will lead to head
sikneases
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sicknesses
,
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moreover
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moreover,
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there is a recent study done by Oxforde shown that 56% of kids will keep using the mobiles
,
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apply
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if there is no one around
the
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them
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to set some kind of
limet
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limit
to them. And all of that negatively will affect
on
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apply
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the children.
To
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In
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conclusion, many people prefer to let
the
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apply
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kids
using
Wrong verb form
use
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the
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their
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phones for
long
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a long
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time,
whcih
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which
has
a negative results
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a negative result
negative results
show examples
on
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
toddlers, and
this
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essay
aggre
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agrees
with it totally.

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task response
Ensure that your introduction clearly states your position and outlines the points you will discuss. A strong introduction sets the stage for your essay.
coherence and cohesion
Use paragraphs effectively to separate your ideas. Each paragraph should focus on one main point, making it easier for the reader to follow your arguments.
task response
Make sure to provide specific examples to support your points. This helps illustrate your ideas and makes your argument stronger.
coherence and cohesion
Check for spelling and grammar errors as they can affect the clarity of your writing. Consider using tools to proofread your work.
task response
The essay addresses the topic and presents a clear opinion.
task response
There are attempts to explain reasons for the use of mobile phones, which is good for developing points.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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