IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3

Fresh water has become a global concern for the world. What are the causes of it.? What measures government and individual should take to resolve the problem? Give reasons and examples for your answer

Most
countries
Use synonyms
 focus on their developments, so they
are not care
Change the verb form
do not care
show examples
 about common property ,
that
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
lead
Change the verb form
leads
show examples
 to the pollution of the
ocean
Use synonyms
. I will give some causes of the problem and settlement that
countries
Use synonyms
 should take. First of all, almost all the
countries
Use synonyms
 are
struglle
Correct your spelling
struggle
 to grow up
theri
Correct your spelling
their
economics
Correct your spelling
economies
show examples
.
Therefore
Linking Words
 they do not mind
whther
Correct your spelling
whether
 the
ocean
Use synonyms
 is clean or not.
For example
Linking Words
, because some
countries
Use synonyms
 ,especially developing
countries
Use synonyms
, do not have enough space to gather trash that
has
Verb problem
is
show examples
 produced from homes and factories, they throw
them
Correct pronoun usage
it
show examples
to
Change preposition
into
show examples
 the
ocean
Use synonyms
. It
Add a missing verb
is widespreads
show examples
widespreads
Correct your spelling
widespread
 to all over the world, and the
ocean
Use synonyms
 will become full of garbages. To prevent
this
Linking Words
 situation,
government
Add an article
the government
show examples
 decide the strict punishment for their dumping.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, individuals do not buy things more than what
you
Correct pronoun usage
they
show examples
 need,
that
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
help
Change the verb form
helps
show examples
 to reduce the amount of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
trash.
Secondly
Linking Words
, some factories are necessary to flush their used water
to
Change preposition
into
show examples
 the
ocean
Use synonyms
. It often
include
Change the verb form
includes
show examples
 oil that takes
long
Change the article
a long
show examples
 time to disappear from water. Once you
flows
Change the verb form
flow
show examples
 oil, it will keep the sea not clean over the years.
Therefore
Linking Words
,
government
Add an article
the government
show examples
 should
make
Correct your spelling
take
show examples
 a measure about the
limitaion
Correct your spelling
limitation
 of oil and the amount of the using it. Since it may
forces
Wrong verb form
force
show examples
Correct article usage
the compony
show examples
compony
Correct your spelling
company
show examples
 to decline
their
Correct pronoun usage
its
show examples
 profit, it will take so long to decide precise standard.
Overall
Linking Words
,
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
polution
Correct your spelling
pollution
water
Change preposition
of water
show examples
 is a huge matter to the
golobal
Correct your spelling
global
, and
government
Correct article usage
the government
show examples
 need to care about their
acitivities
Correct your spelling
activities
 to prevent the situation become worse.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence and cohesion
Make sure to introduce your main points clearly in the introduction. A strong introduction helps readers know what to expect in your essay.
coherence and cohesion
Add a concluding statement to summarize your main ideas. This helps to reinforce your points and gives a sense of closure to your essay.
task achievement
Improve the clarity of your ideas. Some sentences are unclear or difficult to follow. Try to express your thoughts in a simpler way.
task achievement
Provide more specific examples to support your points. This will make your argument stronger and more convincing.
task achievement
You have addressed the topic and provided some causes and solutions related to water pollution.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • sustainable,
What to do next:
Look at other essays: