The growing number of overweight people is putting a strain on the health care system in an effort to deal with the health issues involved. Some people think that the best way to deal with this problem is to introduce more physical education lessons in the school curriculum. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

It is believed that a potential solution to tackle the immense economic and social burden of an increasingly overweight population is to include physical training as a part of the academic curriculum. I firmly concur with

this

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notion as the early introduction of physical activity in schools raises awareness about the serious consequences of an increased BMI

while

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also

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inculcating healthy habits. Incorporating more physical education in schools would not only encourage students to take part in sports and athletics but

also

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educate students regarding the harmful effects of a sedentary lifestyle.

This

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becomes a pressing issue and a potential cause of weight-related issues, as children become increasingly dependent on technology for recreation. Appreciation of regular physical activity will encourage adolescents to pursue physical exercise and promote the benefits to their peers.

Therefore

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, advocating PE would ultimately enable children to make more mindful health choices.

Furthermore

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, participating in sports at a young age can instil discipline. Excelling in any physically demanding activity requires dedication and hard work, which comes with a fixed routine that can transform pupils into health-conscious adults.

This

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can promote healthy lifestyle choices and mitigate the strain on the public health sector by preventing lifestyle-related diseases. In conclusion, the

obesity related

Add a hyphen

obesity-related

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health crisis needs to be tackled by informing our youth of the importance of exercise and fostering good habits.

This

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can be facilitated by mandating regular physical education in schools.

harshitakaushik777Sun Jun 15 2025

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task achievement

Expand on your points with more specific examples to strengthen your arguments.

coherence and cohesion

Link your ideas more clearly between paragraphs for better flow.

coherence and cohesion

Make sure each paragraph focuses clearly on one main idea to improve structure.

task achievement

Your introduction clearly states your opinion, setting a strong foundation for the essay.

coherence and cohesion

You have a good conclusion that summarizes your main points well.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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5
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

234 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

obesity rates
health care system
physical education
instill
long term
raise awareness
healthier lifestyle choices
nutritional education
active transport
quality of instruction
facilities and equipment
diet control initiatives
community sports programs

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Fully explain your ideas

Today more and more tourists are visiting places where conditions are difficult, such as the Sahara Desert or the Antarctic. What are the benefits and disadvantages for tourists who visit such places?

Families who send their children to private schools should not be required to pay taxes that support the state education system. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Today more and more tourists are visiting places where conditions are difficult, such as the Sahara desert or the Antartic. What are the benefits and disadvantages for tourist who visit such places?

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?