IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

In the past, when students did a university degree, they studies in their home countries, but now many choose to study in the unviersities abroad do the advantages of this new shift outweigh the disadvantages

The trend of studying abroad for a university
education
Use synonyms
 has been increasing in
students
Use synonyms
 for the
last
Linking Words
 few years, with more pupils preferring to go abroad for
this
Linking Words
 as compared to
past
Correct article usage
the past
show examples
, when only the universities in their countries were chosen. In my opinion, the advantages are significantly more than the drawbacks. The primary benefit of choosing abroad universities for tertiary
education
Use synonyms
 is the option of choosing from a variety of courses. Many subjects
such
Linking Words
 as,
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
Aviation, robotics and
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
engineering are either not taught because of the lack of resources or the limited number of
students
Use synonyms
are
Unnecessary verb
apply
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enrolled to maintain the standard of
education
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.
Therefore
Linking Words
, foreign courses
allows
Change the verb form
allow
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 them to pursue their study in their favourite subjects rather than compromising with what is available in their home countries.
Students
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 are
also
Linking Words
 advantaged with better employability
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 if they prefer to study in foreign nations. Not only
this
Linking Words
 trend will offer
students
Use synonyms
with
Change preposition
apply
show examples
better institutions to study but
also
Linking Words
 they
are
Wrong verb form
will also be
show examples
 exposed to
students
Use synonyms
 from different backgrounds, languages and cultures, and employers will prioritize those employees who have better qualifications and different work experience from outside nations.
However
Linking Words
, there
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
also
Linking Words
 a disadvantage of doing university
education
Use synonyms
 in foreign countries is the degradation of their academic performance. Foreign universities always charge more fees to international
students
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, plus the high cost of living away from parents
oblige
Correct subject-verb agreement
obliges
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students
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 to do
part time
Add a hyphen
part-time
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 jobs which require both time and attention.
As a result
Linking Words
, they have less time to focus on their studies which
create
Correct subject-verb agreement
creates
show examples
 stress among
students
Use synonyms
. In conclusion, even though
students
Use synonyms
 have to face trouble in performing better in their
education
Use synonyms
while
Linking Words
 staying abroad,yet with better planning the benefits of choosing
variety
Add an article
a variety
the variety
show examples
 of courses and making their resumes better are far more significant than the disadvantages.

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coherence and cohesion
Make sure each paragraph has a clear main idea and expand it with examples.
task achievement
Add more specific examples to support your points clearly.
general
Check for grammatical errors, such as subject-verb agreement and sentence structure.
structure
You effectively presented your main ideas and structure in paragraphs.
task response
Your opinion is clear, and you maintained a good position throughout the essay.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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