IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Many students find it harder to study when they are at the university or college than when they were at school. Why is this? What can be done to solve the problem?

As
the
Correct article usage
a
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 college education is generally more academically stressful than that of high school for the majority, the debate over why it happens and how to address it remains a controversy.
While
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 a series of reasons are responsible for
this
Linking Words
 case, preventive measures need to be taken. Of all compelling reasons, the crux of
matter
Add an article
the matter
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 is the more sophisticated real-life problems in universities. Those not only
requires
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require
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 a spectrum of theories to elaborately explain the rationales
,
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apply
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 but
also
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demonstrates
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demonstrate
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 varying intersections between logical chains, which
relies
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rely
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 on increasingly systematic and complex teaching throughout learning. Statistically, each chemistry question that shows up in
entrance
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the entrance
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 exam of Imperial
college
Capitalize word
College
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 London is set a time limit of 20 minutes on average. Looking at the big picture, the authority exerts more academic pressure on college students
due to
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 their higher cognitive skills and knowledge
accumulations
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accumulation
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 than
the
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their
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 high school counterparts, transferring a larger number of potential skilled
labor
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labour
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 towards
the
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apply
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technological and cultural development. Albeit the aforementioned causes, a broad list of precautions could possibly come into play
by
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on
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 two levels. Officially, the experts should bridge the gap between high schools and universities to balance the difficulty between courses
of
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apply
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them
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apply
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, making the former more comprehensive,
while
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 mediating the complexity of the latter. On a personal level, they should sensibly arrange their time of study and preview the subsequent contents
according to
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 the syllabus. In sum, like any good piece of evidence, how these measures will be enforced is the key,
whereas
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, the best interest of the public is finding a balance between suggested approaches and their opportunity costs.

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Coherence and Cohesion
Your essay presents a clear introduction and conclusion, but the ideas in the body could be better organized. Try to make sure each paragraph has a clear main idea that directly supports your argument.
Task Achievement
While you provided some relevant examples, they could have been more detailed and directly linked to your main points. It's important to connect examples to your ideas clearly.
General Advice
There were some complex phrases and structures that could be simplified for better understanding. Try using simpler sentences to express your ideas more clearly.
Task Achievement
You have identified important reasons for the challenges students face in higher education and suggested potential solutions.
Coherence and Cohesion
Your introduction sets the tone for the essay well and outlines the topic effectively.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • university
  • college
  • students
  • school
  • study
  • workload
  • freedom
  • routine
  • home
  • distractions
  • pressure
  • success
  • social life
  • stress
  • focus
  • skills
  • understanding
  • assignments
  • difficulties
  • balance
What to do next:
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