IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people fail in school, but end up being successful in life. Why do you think that is the case? They develop other skills such as marketing and business oriented What is the most important thing to succeed in life?

It is said by some
people
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 who did not pass the
school
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 but later they become successful in their
lives
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.
This
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 is possible when individuals develop other
skills
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such
Linking Words
 as art and marketing. To be
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
successful in
life
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 a
person
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 should be determined towards goals and confidence leads to a successful
life
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. The main reason why
people
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 opine that failed
people
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 in
school
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 become successful in their future is because they learn other
skills
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. They develop their interest in other
skills
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such
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 as Painting, music and other carrier-oriented
skills
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 which make them successful in their
lives
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. In
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this
Correct determiner usage
these
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 fields with some hard work
along with
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 enjoying their hobby, they easily succeed. Learning any
skills
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 gives
an
Correct pronoun usage
them an
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 extra chance to grow themselves. Another reason, some
people
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 don’t want to follow the rigid schedule of
school
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 or college
life
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. They use their decision-making power and creative
skills
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 to develop their own business. individuals start their own venture putting their all efforts they can easily achieve success in their
life
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. To be successful in
life
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 a
person
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 needs to be focused on goals and needs to be confident. If a
person
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 is goal-oriented,
then
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 they will achieve their goal one day even facing some failures in
life
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. Any obstacles can
also
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 easily be overcome by
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
confidence when
the
Correct your spelling
they
show examples
 develop their self-awareness and risk what they are taking without getting bright marks in their academies. These traits make them outstanding in their professional
lives
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.
To conclude
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,
school
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 or higher education cannot decide anyone's future, a
person
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 can be successful in their
lives
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 by believing in themselves
as well as
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 by following their passion in other fields.

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coherence and cohesion
Make sure to clearly define the main points of your essay and connect them logically.
task achievement
Provide specific examples to support your claims about why some people succeed despite failing in school.
coherence and cohesion
Use clearer topic sentences for each paragraph to outline your ideas more effectively.
task achievement
Ensure your conclusion summarizes your main points and reinforces your overall argument more forcefully.
task achievement
You highlighted key themes like determination and self-awareness, which are important in discussing success.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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