IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

The crime rare nowadays is decreasing compared to the past due to advanced technology which can prevent and solve crime. Do you agree or disagree?

In today's generation, with
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
technology
Use synonyms
 becoming more
high-tech
Correct word choice
advanced
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, the majority believe that crime rates have become lower than in the early days. In
this
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 essay, I will give my opinion and explanation on whether I agree or disagree with
this
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 statement.
First,
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the improvement of
technology
Use synonyms
 helps a lot in different ways, and solving crimes is one of them. In the early years, when there was no advanced
technology
Use synonyms
, multiple cases weren't solved properly, so they turned into cold cases.
Thus
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, there is a lack of evidence and no
witness
Fix the agreement mistake
witnesses
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 to confirm it.
For instance
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, one of the episodes in a cold case series that I watched is about the murder of a student who went missing.
Therefore
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, without any clues or traces of where the girl could be, the case has remained a mystery for many years now.
Also
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, not having enough information is one of the main reasons.
Second,
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the
technology
Use synonyms
 became powerful and advanced, which has helped a lot of new crimes. Where CCTV can be installed in many places,
such
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 as homes and public areas,
moreover
Linking Words
, the officials can easily detect the scenes and people who are involved in that offence. For these reasons, the criminals became afraid to
do
Verb problem
commit
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 their wrongdoings because they can easily expose their faces through that device and easily get caught. On the whole, I agreed that crime rates have now decreased from what they used to be. The fear of bad people has increased because of the new
technology
Use synonyms
 that we have now.

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task achievement
Make sure you clearly state your opinion in the introduction and reinforce it in the conclusion.
task achievement
Add more specific examples to support your points, as they can make your argument stronger.
coherence and cohesion
Structure your paragraphs better by ensuring each one focuses on one main idea.
task achievement
You present a clear opinion on the topic.
content
Your essay highlights the impact of technology on crime prevention.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • surveillance
  • deterrence effect
  • DNA testing
  • forensic analysis
  • conviction rates
  • digital footprints
  • cyber forensic techniques
  • real-time communication
  • law enforcement
  • socioeconomic factors
  • cybercrimes
  • advanced technology
  • crime prevention strategies
  • privacy concerns
  • ethical issues
  • digital divide
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