IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Some people think that all the lawbreakers should be taken into the prison, while others believe that there are better alternatives. (for example, doing some work or learning some skills in the community). Discuss both views and give your opinion.

NOWADAYS, SOME believe that all lawbreakers should go straight to prison ,
while
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 others
thinks
Change the verb form
think
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 that they should be punished in other ways.
This
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 essay will discuss both sides
off
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of
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tha
Correct your spelling
the
 matter and what are the
pest
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best
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decision
Fix the agreement mistake
decisions
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. It is true that
how ever
Correct your spelling
however
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crimet
Correct your spelling
crime
crimes
 a
crime
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 should be punished in all cases. But there are some differences from the general effect from
crime
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 to
crime
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, like
to have
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having
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 someone how
kill
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to kill
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 others for no reason or just for fun,
this
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 is where the law should be enforced as
serious
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seriously
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 and
effective
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effectively
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 as it should be to perform justice by
send
Wrong verb form
sending
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 them into prison or take
there
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their
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 life if needed.
On the other hand
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, there are some
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crime
Fix the agreement mistake
crimes
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 that
the
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apply
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effect
Correct your spelling
affect
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off
Change preposition
apply
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them way
more
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apply
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less violent in
the
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apply
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society that can be harmful.
For example
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, a homeless person who
stole
Wrong verb form
steals
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a
Correct article usage
apply
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bread to eat ,
Use synonyms
crime
Add an article
a crime
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 like
this
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 can be solved by cleaning the rods or any volunteering activities to do in the community could actually be so useful for the city
it self
Correct your spelling
itself
show examples
 and for others so that they think before doing anything against the law . I believe my self that the best thing is that
the
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apply
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simple crimes or situations can be fixed by letting
the
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apply
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criminals do activities that will make the country better
and
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apply
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so that think twice before doing anything
breaks
Correct pronoun usage
that breaks
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 the law. In conclusion, a
crime
Use synonyms
 is still a
crime
Use synonyms
 but the effect behind it is what
should
Remove a modal verb
apply
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the punishment should be taken for.

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task achievement
Make sure your introduction clearly states your opinion and outlines what you will discuss in the essay.
coherence and cohesion
Use clearer topic sentences for each paragraph to improve the logical flow of your ideas.
task achievement
Provide more specific examples and reasons to support your points.
coherence and cohesion
Check for spelling and grammar errors to improve overall clarity.
task achievement
You address both views in your essay, showing that you understand the topic.
task achievement
You make a clear distinction between serious crimes and less serious crimes.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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