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Band 6.5

The graph below gives information on the number of participants for different activities at one social centre in Melbourne, Australia for the period 2000 to 2020.

The graph below gives information on the number of participants for different activities at one social centre in Melbourne, Australia for the period 2000 to 2020.
The line graph shows the number of participants for the five activities,
film
Use synonyms
club
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, martial arts, amateur
dramatics
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,
table
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tennis
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 and musical
performances
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.
Additionally
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, the data was observed in Australia between 2000 and 2020.
Overall
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,
whereas
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 the
film
Use synonyms
club
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 was consistently the most popular
activity
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, the least popular
activity
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 changed over 20 years. Specifically, the highest player, the
film
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club
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,
initially
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 had about 65 participants in 2000 and that
figure
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 did not fluctuate significantly as the final number was
also
Linking Words
 about 65 in 2020.
Moreover
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, the trajectory of martial arts
also
Linking Words
 showed a similar movement to that of
film
Use synonyms
Use synonyms
club
Fix the agreement mistake
clubs
show examples
 as the initial
figure
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 was approximately 36 and that number was almost unchanged until 2020.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, the remaining three sections display unstable trends.
For example
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,
although
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 the
activity
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 of amateur
dramatics
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 had 25 people at the beginning, after 2005, that
figure
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 started declining sharply and fell to below 10 in 2020. Meanwhile, the trends of
table
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tennis
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 and musical
performances
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 contrasted with the trend of
dramatics
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 as follows; from 16 to 50 (
table
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tennis
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) and from 0 to 16 (musical
performances
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).
Furthermore
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, the trajectory of
table
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tennis
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 is notable.
This
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 means that
while
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 the
figure
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 did not change radically until 2010, after that year, that
figure
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 rapidly increased. In comparison, even though the lowest
position
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 had been taken by musical
performances
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 at
first,
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that
position
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 was
consequently
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 replaced by amateur
dramatics
Use synonyms
. What is more, though martial arts had been located in the second highest
position
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 in 2000, that
position
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 was exchanged between
this
Linking Words
activity
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 and
table
Use synonyms
tennis
Use synonyms
.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "also".
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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: Replace the words film, club, dramatics, table, tennis, performances, activity, figure, position with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "table" was used 5 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 5 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 5 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "shows" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "changed" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "trends" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
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