IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The table below shows how the UK unemployed spent their time last year.

The table below shows how the UK unemployed spent their time last year.
The present table demonstrates what kind of activity unemployed
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
UK citizens did
last
Linking Words
 year
basing
Change the form of the verb
based
show examples
 on their gender.
Additionally
Linking Words
, the table divides activities into two
group
Change to a plural noun
groups
show examples
 depending on the
time
Use synonyms
 of day.
Overall
Linking Words
, the vast majority of jobless
women
Use synonyms
prefered
Correct your spelling
prefer
 to do a home routine regardless
the
Change preposition
of the
show examples
time
Use synonyms
.
In addition
Linking Words
, both
women
Use synonyms
 and men avoided taking alcohol in the morning and staying in bed
after noon
Correct your spelling
afternoon
show examples
. In detail, if we look at the morning routine of workless people, it is
noticable
Correct your spelling
noticeable
 that almost
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
half of
women
Use synonyms
 spend their
time
Use synonyms
 on housework activities
as
Correct quantifier usage
such as
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 cleaning or cooking,
while
Linking Words
 only 19% of men
chose
Wrong verb form
choose
show examples
 the same,
prefering
Correct your spelling
preferring
looking
Change the verb form
to look
show examples
 for a job
instead
Linking Words
. The least popular actions included drinking among both genders and
also
Linking Words
 playing
sport
Fix the agreement mistake
sports
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 among
women
Use synonyms
.
Next,
Linking Words
in the second half of day the most of
Use synonyms
women
Correct article usage
the women
show examples
 did housework as before, but men changed their focus to watching TV. At the same
time
Use synonyms
, only
few
Change the article
a few
show examples
 people in both groups stayed asleep.

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Vocabulary: Replace the words time, women with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Only 6 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "table" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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