Children are facing more pressures nowadays from academic, social,and commercial, perspectives. What are the causes of these pressures and what measures should be taken to reduce these pressures?*

One of the most topical issues in modern society is that young
children
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are experiencing extreme burdens from school, social
life
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and commercial perspectives. There are many causes behind
this
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phenomenon.
This
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essay will investigate the major reasons and
also
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suggest a useful step to control it in
further
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paragraphs. Focusing on the causes of
this
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trend,
firstly
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, there are a wide range of reasons why students feel stressed from their school
life
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.
This
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is because parents and teachers have higher expectations of their
children
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to perform well in competitive exams. Since exams are becoming even more challenging day by day, students have to study for longer hours and that results in anxiety and frustration in young learners.
In addition
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to that, they feel
pressurized
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pressured
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by their social
life
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as well. In
this
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internet-driven world, young
children
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are influenced not only by social media but
also
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by the luxurious lifestyle of famous people.
As a result
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, they try to follow their dressing
sence
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sense
, hairstyle, perfume and so on, but they often give less priority to improving communication skills and other interpersonal skills.
Hence
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, they are not able to express themselves fluently and they feel left behind.
This
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causes depression among
children
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. Despite these challenges, there are several measures that can mitigate
this
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problem. The most important solution would be to have personalized consultation from an expert which should be done in a friendly manner so that the child and the parent can easily open up and communicate their thoughts clearly. Since an expert is conducting
this
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talk, can provide individual feedback on their academic performance and social behaviour. By evaluating
this
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both parents and
children
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get deep insight into their expectations, and social behaviour and gain awareness.
To conclude
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,
children
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getting
pressurized
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pressured
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by their academic and social
life
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is quite common these days but can be cured by an expert consultation.

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Task Achievement
Make sure each paragraph has a clear main idea and fully supports it with details. You can add more examples and explanations to strengthen your points.
Coherence and Cohesion
Try to improve the linking between ideas by using more connecting words. This will make your essay flow better and be easier to read.
Task Achievement
You clearly identify the causes of pressures on children, which shows good understanding of the topic.
Coherence and Cohesion
The structure of your essay is clear, with a distinct introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • academic pressure
  • globalized world
  • competitive education system
  • social media influences
  • cyberbullying
  • commercial pressures
  • aggressive marketing
  • materialistic desires
  • peer pressure
  • high expectations
  • standardized testing
  • quantifiable performance
  • stress and anxiety
  • extracurricular achievements
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