IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Some people want governments to spend money looking for life on other planets. Others, however, think this is a waste of public money when there are so many problems on earth. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from own knowledge or experience.

With the advancement of technology, especially in the research industry,
while
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 some proponents argue that governments should allocate a budget for searching for
life
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 on other planets, others advocate that there are serious problems on
Earth
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.
Although
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 the first argument offers certain benefits, I firmly believe that the latter statement is vital across several aspects.
This
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 essay will examine both perspectives, providing relevant examples, before reaching a well-justified conclusion. There are a few advantages of searching for
life
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 on other planets. The primary merit is a solution for overpopulation in the
earth
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. Several nations,
for example
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, China, India and Bangladesh
,
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apply
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 have faced population
issues
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 so far,
while
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 others are gradually going towards that direction.
Therefore
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, some developed countries allocate significant budgets for looking for
life
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 on other planets as a viable measure.
Furthermore
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, they try to address some other serious
issues
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,
such
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 as fossil fuels, plantation, and water.
For instance
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, a research study conducted by the University of Peradeniya revealed that there is water and better conditions for
plantation
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plantations
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 on the Neptune planet.
This
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 budget allocation is significantly high.
However
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, there are considerable pressing
issues
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 on
Earth
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. Nowadays, people are facing inflation, not only in developing nations
,
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apply
show examples
 but
also
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 in developed nations. The main reason for
this
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 is that relevant authorities waste their money
for
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on
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 unnecessary research without thinking about their people's development.
This
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 is not only the main problem,
consequently
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, it creates some social problems, including family-related
issues
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 and social inequality. In conclusion, taking everything into account, I reiterate my belief that
although
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 there are some advantages of looking for
life
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 in outer space, I completely believe that there are other important aspects on
Earth
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, including social and economic problems.
Therefore
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, I think that
this
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 expensive search is a waste of limited resources.

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Task Achievement
Make sure to clearly state both sides of the argument in your introduction. This helps set the stage for your essay.
Coherence and Cohesion
Use linking words like 'firstly', 'however', and 'for example' to help connect your ideas and make your points clearer.
Task Achievement
Provide clearer examples for your points about social issues to make your argument even stronger.
Task Achievement
Your introduction clearly presents the topic and your position, which is a strong start to the essay.
Task Achievement
You have used specific examples such as the study from the University of Peradeniya, which adds depth to your ideas.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • unprecedented opportunities
  • extraterrestrial
  • satisfy human curiosity
  • practical benefits
  • inspiring goal
  • testament to human ambition
  • pursuit of knowledge
  • critics argue
  • imprudent
  • plague Earth
  • immediate attention
  • allocated for
  • environmental conservation
  • well-being
  • quality of life
  • balanced approach
  • advancements
  • benefits for humanity
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