Throughout history, male leaders have led us into violence and conflict. If a society is governed by female leaders it will be more peaceful. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

It is common knowledge that male brings about conflicts and social
unrests
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unrest
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when being appointed as
leaders
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more than that of females. I completely agree with
this
Linking Words
opinion.
This
Linking Words
essay will discuss the opinion above.
To begin
Linking Words
with, men have traits that are different
than
Change the preposition
from
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that
Correct determiner usage
those
show examples
of
women
Use synonyms
. Being known for bravery and boldness, men often come up with daring plans that are risky. If
women
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are
leaders
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, they will resolve
problem
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problems
show examples
in their own way so as not to put people's
life
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lives
show examples
in jeopardy as
women
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are gentle and cautious.
For example
Linking Words
, 80% of researchers
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
Cambridge University state that
women
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are likely to avoid confrontations or riots and often opt for safer
route
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routes
show examples
.
Moreover
Linking Words
,
women
Use synonyms
don't like to combat as they care more about beauty and other
matter
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matters
show examples
.
Lastly
Linking Words
,
women
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are not tactical and clever like men so it is hard for them to get into big fights. They may ignore it. In conclusion, female
leaders
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may bring
tranquil
Replace the word
tranquillity
show examples
and peace than male
leaders
Use synonyms
because of their gentle characteristic and their unwillingness to get into conflict.

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Task Response
Your introduction is clear, but it could be stronger by presenting your main points directly. Make sure to state your opinion clearly and provide a brief overview of your supporting points.
Coherence and Cohesion
Try to use clear linking words to connect your ideas better. For example, using 'firstly', 'secondly', and 'finally' can help the reader follow your argument more easily.
Task Response
Make sure each paragraph has a clear main idea and relates back to your main opinion. Some points need more explanation or examples to support them better.
Task Response
You have a clear opinion and are focused on the topic, which is good for task achievement.
Coherence and Cohesion
Your conclusion summarizes your points, which helps bring your essay together.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • gender dynamics
  • militaristic policies
  • expansionist
  • diplomatic governance
  • risk-taking
  • societal norms
  • inclusive approach
  • collaborative governance
  • gender stereotypes
  • individual qualities
  • comprehensive approach
  • conflict resolution
  • aggression
  • historical context
  • colonial expansion
  • contemporary
  • male dominance
  • innate differences
  • peaceful governance
  • competitive strategies
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