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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The chart shows striking differences in the level of computer and Internet penetration in the Arab world. Write a report describing the information in the graph below.

The chart shows striking differences in the level of computer and Internet penetration in the Arab world. Write a report describing the information in the graph below.
The bar chart illustrates data about the
number
Use synonyms
 of
computers
Use synonyms
 and
internet
Use synonyms
 measured per 1000
inhibitants
Correct your spelling
inhabitants
 in the Arab areas. In summary, the most significant quantity of
cumputers
Correct your spelling
computers
 and
internet
Use synonyms
 are in the UAE,
while
Linking Words
 the bottom five countries are Oman, Jordan, Egypt, Morocco and Syria, with only under 50 in
both
Use synonyms
 products. The UAE has the largest
number
Use synonyms
 of
both
Use synonyms
computers
Use synonyms
 and
Use synonyms
internet
Correct article usage
the internet
show examples
, with around 345 and 155, respectively. The second largest quantity is Kuwait approximately 125 (
computers
Use synonyms
) and 100 (
internet
Use synonyms
). The
number
Use synonyms
 of
internet
Use synonyms
 in
lebanon
Change the capitalization
Lebanon
show examples
 is about 75, followed by Saudi Arabia with only 10.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, Saudi Arabia has 60
computers
Use synonyms
 larger than Lebanon about 50. The bottom five countries
who
Correct pronoun usage
that
show examples
 have
least
Correct article usage
the least
show examples
 of these two stuffs are Oman, Jordan, Egypt, Morocco and Syria, with below 50. Oman and Jordan have just below 50 on
both
Use synonyms
computers
Use synonyms
 and
Use synonyms
internet
Correct article usage
the internet
show examples
. Egypt and Morroco have
same
Change the article
a same
the same
show examples
number
Use synonyms
 of
both
Use synonyms
computers
Use synonyms
 and
Use synonyms
internet
Correct article usage
the internet
show examples
, with 10 each. Syria has the least
number
Use synonyms
 of
Use synonyms
internet
Add an article
the internet
show examples
 with just 5,
while
Linking Words
quantity
Add an article
the quantity
show examples
 of
computers
Use synonyms
 is 5.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words number, computers, internet, both with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 5 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 3 times.
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