IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Government should spend money on railways rather than roads To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

It is argued that
governments
Change the noun form
government
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 expenditure should go to
railways
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instead
Linking Words
 of
roads
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.
From
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In
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 my view,
roads
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 are of more importance for
transport
Correct article usage
the transport
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 of the general citizens in their day-to-day life.
This
Linking Words
 is why I partially disagree with the statement as
roads
Use synonyms
 and
railways
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 both go hand-in-hand to play a significant role
for
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in
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 normal
people
Use synonyms
 to reach their destinations. We often see that
roads
Use synonyms
 are neglected by government officers even when it is in dire need of repair and construction.
Consequently
Linking Words
, it causes a hindrance for
people
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 to pass by to reach their
office
Fix the agreement mistake
offices
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, schools and market which acts as a huge burden.
This
Linking Words
 is the case for many
roads
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, for which
people
Use synonyms
 are forced to seek alternatives
Linking Words
that
Correct pronoun usage
which
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 is quite troublesome.
For instance
Linking Words
, a damaged road filled with potholes causes an office worker to be late quite frequently putting their career at risk or a student
being
Change the verb form
to be
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 late to their morning lectures
thus
Linking Words
 they are not only warned but
also
Linking Words
 they can miss important topics.
On the other hand
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,
railways
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 are just as important for those who travel way longer distances to reach their office
in addition
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 to
people
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 reaching their hometown within the country. Trains are
the
Correct article usage
apply
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one of the most used
medium
Fix the agreement mistake
mediums
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 of transport for a large no. of the population, especially for those who don’t like sitting through hours of traffic and
seek
Wrong verb form
seeking
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 out
for
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apply
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a swift journey.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, a lot of
people
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 can travel at once which results in cheaper costs
hence
Linking Words
 it is really suitable for financially deprived
people
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. In conclusion, it is the utmost duty of the government to focus not only on
railways
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 but
firstly
Linking Words
 on
roads
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 owing to the countless vehicles that pass through
it
Correct pronoun usage
them
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 for numerous purposes. If they are able to meet the criteria for undamaged and
pothole free
Add a hyphen
pothole-free
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roads
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 whilst being able to construct safer, smoother and larger
railways
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than
Correct your spelling
then
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 it will account
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
 a brighter future for the
people
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.

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coherence and cohesion
Make sure each paragraph has a clear main idea and stays focused on it.
coherence and cohesion
Use more linking words to help your ideas flow better, like 'firstly', 'secondly', 'also', and 'in addition'.
task achievement
Add more specific examples to support your points. This will help to strengthen your argument.
task achievement
Try to address the counter-argument more clearly and link it to your opinion.
task achievement
The essay clearly states a personal opinion on the topic, which is good.
task achievement
You successfully highlight the importance of roads and railways in people's lives.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • sustainability
  • environmental footprint
  • efficiency
  • pollution
  • cost-effectiveness
  • economic development
  • accessibility
  • public transportation
  • congestion
  • air pollution
  • initial investment
  • maintenance
  • upgrades
  • rural
  • urban
  • last-mile connectivity
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