IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people say that protecting the environment is the governments’ responsibility. others believe that every individual should take responsibility for it. Discuss Both views and give your opinion.

It is irrefutable that an environment-saving topic is a burning issue of
this
Linking Words
 modern era. Few
people
Use synonyms
 think that
its
Correct your spelling
it is
show examples
Correct article usage
the government'
show examples
government'
Change noun form
government's
show examples
 duty to protect the ecological system,
while
Linking Words
 opponents believe that it is the responsibility of every individual who is living on the earth. In
this
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 essay, we will discuss both sides before giving my viewpoint
at the end
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. On the one hand,
people
Use synonyms
says
Change the verb form
say
show examples
 that high authorities should take some steps to save Mother Nature.
Firstly
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, the government should introduce some high
penalty
Fix the agreement mistake
penalties
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 to
people
Use synonyms
 who are trying to harm our motherland,
for example
Linking Words
, in India ,
last
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 year the high court of Delhi imposed 1 million rupees as a fine
to
Change preposition
on
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 the plastic production company of Ludhiana city
due to
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 illegal dumping of harmful garbage in Beas river.
Secondly
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, they can ameliorate public transport by organising campaigns among
people
Use synonyms
 to use it most for their daily routine but
also
Linking Words
 need to maintain high standards of public vehicles too because
people
Use synonyms
 do not prefer to use them
as of
Change preposition
for
show examples
 safety reasons or
due to
Linking Words
 bad conditions of them
such
Linking Words
 as buses and
tarins
Correct your spelling
trains
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. On the flip side, proponents of individual support asserted that every human being should take care of
earth
Add an article
the earth
show examples
. They said that some small steps of
people
Use synonyms
 can make a big difference.
For instance
Linking Words
, every individual should avoid using plastic bags and prefer to recycle one, plant trees as much as they can and start giving priority to
use
Wrong verb form
using
show examples
 public transport over private because these causes are stem roots for air and soil pollution.
Moreover
Linking Words
, all parents should teach their young children to conserve the environment , as they are our future. In my opinion, currently,
earth
Correct article usage
the earth
show examples
 sends us many red signals. so it is
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
time to take
Correct article usage
the initiate
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initiate
Replace the word
initiative
show examples
 to save the environment by taking steps on individual and
governments'
Change noun form
governments
show examples
 levels. we do not need to take
this
Linking Words
 as an extra burden, even we should preserve it in the same way as our houses.

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coherence and cohesion
Make sure to use complete sentences and correct grammar to improve clarity.
coherence and cohesion
Use clearer topic sentences for each paragraph to guide the reader.
task achievement
Include more specific examples and details to support your points.
task achievement
Clearly state your opinion in the introduction and conclusion to strengthen your argument.
task achievement
You've identified both views clearly and attempted to provide examples.
task achievement
You show a good effort in discussing the topic and its importance.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Sustainable development
  • Eco-friendly
  • Conservation
  • Renewable resources
  • Carbon footprint
  • Emissions
  • Biodiversity
  • Climate action
  • Grassroots
  • Legislation
  • Environmental stewardship
  • Recycling
  • Deforestation
  • Greenhouse gases
  • Ecological balance
  • Public awareness
  • Habitat preservation
  • Corporate social responsibility
  • Ecosystem services
  • Pollution control
What to do next:
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