IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3.5

Some people say that advertising encourages us to buy things that we really do not need. Others say that advertisements tell us about new products that may improve our lives. Which viewpoint do you agree with? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience

people
Use synonyms
 switching
careers
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 multiple times during their lives and working in more than one workplace.
However
Linking Words
, there are both pros and cons to deciding to do
this
Linking Words
. In
this
Linking Words
 essay, I will discuss some of the reasons why
people
Use synonyms
 are inclined towards
this
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 trend and some of the challenges to be overcome. Let’s begin by looking at the advantages of switching
careers
Use synonyms
. of the positive aspects of changing
careers
Use synonyms
 multiple times will give
people
Use synonyms
 the freedom to find passion in their profession. What I mean by
this
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 is that,often times
people
Use synonyms
 stuck in boring jobs or
careers
Use synonyms
 they no longer interested in and they're keep doing it for the sake of paying bills.
For instance
Linking Words
, by switching
careers
Use synonyms
 some
people
Use synonyms
 can fulfil their childhood dreams, they once had, but did not get the chance to fulfil them for so many reasons.

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coherence and cohesion
Make sure each paragraph has a clear main idea supported by examples or explanations.
task achievement
Try to improve your introduction by clearly stating your opinion on the topic.
coherence and cohesion
Make sure to provide a conclusion that summarizes your ideas and gives a final thought.
task achievement
You have a good start by introducing the topic of changing careers.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • encourage
  • persuade
  • manipulative
  • unnecessary
  • excessive
  • artificial needs
  • desires
  • consumers
  • oversaturation
  • impulse buying
  • financial problems
  • inform
  • educate
  • features
  • benefits
  • innovations
  • raise awareness
  • social issues
  • positive behavior
  • enrich
  • well-being
What to do next:
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