IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3.5

Some people say that protecting the environment is the governments’ responsibility. Others believe that every individual should take responsibility for it. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

In the
last
Linking Words
 decade, many people have widely debated who is responsible for protecting
nature
Use synonyms
. Some argue that it should be the
governments'
Change noun form
government's
show examples
 duty,
however
Linking Words
, others agree that it could be an
individal's
Correct your spelling
individual's
 responsibility. Personally, I believe that taking
action
Use synonyms
 to protect our
environment
Use synonyms
 is crucial and everyone should
responsible
Add a missing verb
be responsible
show examples
 for that. When it comes to protecting
Use synonyms
environment
Add an article
the environment
show examples
, some feel that
government
Correct article usage
the government
show examples
 should be responsible because they have funds to allocate several major projects, which support securing
nature
Use synonyms
especially
Add the comma(s)
, especially
show examples
 wildlife and
plantation
Fix the agreement mistake
plantations
show examples
. Many authorities in Australia,
for instance
Linking Words
,
subside
Verb problem
subsidise
show examples
a billions
Correct the article-noun agreement
billions
a billion
show examples
 of dollars annually to look after their natural resources around the country. The more governments spend money on the natural sector, the more they save their
environment
Use synonyms
.
Beside
Replace the word
Besides
show examples
 the rulers, others and I agree that every individual should
involve
Wrong verb form
be involved
show examples
 in protecting their
environment
Use synonyms
. People who live in a city or a village can have a significant impact on their
surrounding
Replace the word
surroundings
show examples
what
Correct word choice
and what
show examples
 they
Use synonyms
action
Verb problem
do
show examples
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
daily
Correct article usage
a daily
show examples
 basis. If someone,
for example
Linking Words
, can use a cycle for daily travel rather than a private vehicle, he or she will
have
Verb problem
make
show examples
 a remarkable contribution to
reduce
Wrong verb form
reducing
show examples
 carbon emissions.
This
Linking Words
 effective
action
Use synonyms
 would lead to
save
Change the verb form
saving
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
nature
Use synonyms
 in
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
long-run
Correct your spelling
long run
show examples
. In conclusion,
this
Linking Words
 essay has explored the responsibility of protecting
Use synonyms
environment
Add an article
the environment
show examples
 in terms of
governmets
Correct your spelling
governments
 and individuals. In my opinion, individuals
are playing
Wrong verb form
play
show examples
 a key role because they can
make
Verb problem
have
show examples
 a huge positive influence on
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
nature
Use synonyms
by
Change preposition
with
show examples
single
Add an article
a single
show examples
action
Use synonyms
.

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coherence cohesion
Make sure to structure your essay clearly, with distinct sections for each argument. Use clear topic sentences for each paragraph to guide the reader.
task achievement
Expand on your ideas more. For example, explain why individual actions are significant, or discuss more about what governments can do.
task achievement
The use of specific examples, such as the cycling example, was very effective in illustrating your point about individual responsibility.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Sustainable development
  • Eco-friendly
  • Conservation
  • Renewable resources
  • Carbon footprint
  • Emissions
  • Biodiversity
  • Climate action
  • Grassroots
  • Legislation
  • Environmental stewardship
  • Recycling
  • Deforestation
  • Greenhouse gases
  • Ecological balance
  • Public awareness
  • Habitat preservation
  • Corporate social responsibility
  • Ecosystem services
  • Pollution control
What to do next:
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