It is common nowadays for each member of the family to have their own piece of modern technology. Some people think this will lead to a break down in family relationship and communication. To what extent do you agree?

In today's digital age, it is very common for each family member to have their own personal technological device,
such
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as
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a smartphones
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smartphones
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smartphone
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,
tablets
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tablet
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, or
laptops
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laptop
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.
While
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some individuals argue that,
this
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increasing trend can weaken family
relationship
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relationships
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and communication, I believe
this
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impact
depend
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depends
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on how these technologies are used.
Although
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there is a risk of reduced interaction, from my point of view, modern
technology
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can even strengthen family relationships. On the one hand,
technology
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is very helpful for
families
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who live in different cities and countries. Video calls and messaging apps allow
families
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to stay in touch
each
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with each
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other regularly.
By
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In
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this
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way,
technolgy
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technology
can enhance family connections.
For example
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, my friend Aygul is studying for his master's degree in Italy, and her family keeps in touch with her every day via WhatsApp calls. The family members have created a group chat to strengthen their communication with each other.
Although
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excessive
use
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of
technology
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can damage family relationships,
families
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can benefit from
technology
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and
technology
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can promote closeness and cooperation between family members.
For instance
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,
families
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can
use
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technology
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to watch movies together, play games, or plan events. For our family, every Sunday evening is a
movie watching
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movie-watching
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day. At that time, everyone plans their work so that everyone can be together.
This
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week's plan is to watch a new comedy movie. In conclusion, using modern
technology
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can sometimes hurt family relationships, but
this
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is not always the case. If
families
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use
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technology
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in a smart and balanced way, it can actually help them stay connected. The most important thing is to
use
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it wisely and not let it replace real conversations.

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coherence and cohesion
Try to group related ideas more clearly to improve flow between paragraphs. Use linking words better to connect your ideas.
task achievement
Make sure each point you make is fully developed with clear examples and explanations to strengthen your arguments.
task achievement
You present a clear view on the topic with a balanced perspective, discussing both sides of the argument.
task achievement
The examples from your personal experience are relevant and help illustrate your points well.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite
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