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Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Some people believe that it is best to encourage children to have a healthy diet at school while others believe that parents should be the ones to teach children to have a healthy diet Discuss both views and give your opinion

Some people argue that
schools
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 should promote healthy eating
habits
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,
while
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 others believe it is primarily the role of
parents
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 to teach children how to maintain a healthy diet.
This
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 essay will discuss both perspectives and explain why I believe
parents
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 play the most crucial role in
this
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 matter.
Schools
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 are perfectly positioned to encourage healthy eating
habits
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 as part of their broader educational mission.
Firstly
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, children spend a large portion of their day at school, making it a convenient setting for health education .
Secondly
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,
schools
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 often have structured programs—
such
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 as nutrition classes, school gardens, and revised cafeteria menus—that actively promote balanced diets .
For example
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, when
schools
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 remove junk food and offer fruit and vegetable options, students are more likely to learn what constitutes a nutritious meal.
This
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 environment fosters understanding and builds healthy
habits
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.
On the other hand
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,
parents
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 have the most profound and lasting impact on their children’s eating
habits
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. As the primary caregivers,
parents
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 control the food that enters the home and serve as role models. If they regularly prepare wholesome meals and involve children in meal preparation, kids are more likely to develop these
habits
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 from a young age . Research
also
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 shows that
habits
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 formed in early childhood—often at home—tend to endure into later life.
For instance
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, a child whose
parents
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 always include fruits and vegetables in meals will likely continue choosing them independently. In conclusion, both
parents
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 and
schools
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 have important roles in promoting healthy eating.
However
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, considering the long-term influence and early formative environment,
parents
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 should be at the forefront of teaching healthy dietary
habits
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, supported by the school system.

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task achievement
Make sure to provide more examples or details to support your points. This will strengthen your argument.
coherence and cohesion
Try to link your ideas more smoothly by using transitional words or phrases. It can help guide the reader through your essay better.
structure
The essay has a clear structure with a good introduction and conclusion.
content
You present both views well, showing balance in your discussion.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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