IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

It is increasingly less common for family members to eat meals together. Why is this the case? Do you think it is a positive or negative development?

#members #meals #case #development
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Second-hand
clothes
' popularity amongst youngsters has been on the rise in recent times because they are cost-effective.
However
,
this
 essay believes that
such
 a development is negative as it has poor economic implications. It is logical for young people to wear more used garments over brand-new
apparels
Fix the agreement mistake
apparel
show examples
 and trousers because it requires less money to get them. Students and teenagers are often low on budget because they do not earn on their own. They rely on the pocket money provided by their parents to live their daily lives. With inflation affecting the garments industry, the price of brand new
clothes
, more importantly of bigger brands, has
also
 increased.
As a result
, youngsters are renting or buying used top and bottom wear of famous brands at a cheaper price in comparison to the MRP.
For example
, more newly-engaged couples are opting for rented, but branded, used-wedding dresses because it is cheaper compared to their retail prices. Having said that, I believe that the trend of using pre-owned
clothes
 by the younger generation has negative consequences on the economy. Teenagers and students are the largest customer segment for the apparel industry. If these people do not buy their new line of
clothes
, the demand will go down, and
as a result
, production will be impacted. Businesses in
this
 sector, if they don't see revenues increase, will have to bear the operational costs, which will ultimately lead to bankruptcy.
For instance
, during the
Covid-19
Correct your spelling
COVID-19
show examples
 pandemic,
due to
 the lockdown imposed by many countries, the demand for shirts and trousers was low, thereby leading to a shutdown of many companies as their cost to operate kept on increasing. In conclusion,
while
 pre-owned
clothes
 are getting popular amongst young people because of their low price, I believe
this
 development is negative as it fuels low demand for fresh
clothes
, which ultimately leads to companies going bankrupt, thereby impacting the economy negatively.
Submitted by majumdarnilesh21 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task submission
Expand on the introduction slightly to provide a clearer understanding of the context of the topic and present a balanced overview of both perspectives before stating your stance.
coherence cohesion
Ensure smoother transitions between ideas, particularly between examples and explanations, to maintain a natural flow of text. For instance, linking sentences could make your argumentation smoother.
task submission
Include counterarguments or alternative perspectives to demonstrate a comprehensive understanding of the issue and strengthen your argument.
task submission
Your essay presents clear and comprehensive ideas with logical reasoning and relevant specific examples.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion are present and contribute effectively to answering the question.
coherence cohesion
The logical structure of your essay is clear, and each paragraph contributes to your argument.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • hectic schedules
  • work-life balance
  • digital distractions
  • commuting times
  • single-parent households
  • blended families
  • cultural shifts
  • individualistic tendencies
  • pervasive presence
  • diminishing tradition
What to do next:
Look at other essays: