IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3

some people think that children should start school as early as possible while other believe that they should start school at the age of seven. Discuss both views and give your opinion?

There is no doubt that these days young people should learn sciences and other subjects. A few
of
Change preposition
apply
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humans believe
childern
Correct your spelling
children
 must study at the
age
Use synonyms
six
Change preposition
of six
show examples
 and under but others think they have to start learning
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
 seven. In
this
Linking Words
 essay, I am going to discuss both views and draw my personal conclusion. In terms of
first
Change the article
the first
show examples
 side of
views
Fix the agreement mistake
view
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,
pupil
Fix the agreement mistake
pupils
show examples
 should start learning and go to
school
Use synonyms
Change preposition
at in
show examples
in
Correct your spelling
an
show examples
 early
age
Use synonyms
. The main reason given to claim is that to discover new things and make them more active. To illustrate, kids love to mess around and watch something new , so
may be
Correct your spelling
maybe
show examples
 they can discover and learn
some thing
Correct your spelling
something
show examples
 useful.
In other words
Linking Words
, some parents thought if their babies went to
school
Use synonyms
 early, they would
finshied
Correct your spelling
finished
highschool
Correct your spelling
high school
show examples
 before 17 and go to
universaty
Correct your spelling
university
 at an early
age
Use synonyms
.
However
Linking Words
, people
how
Correct word choice
who
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 completely disagree with the teaching place
welcomes
Wrong verb form
welcome
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 children under 7 years old. First of all, kids who want to
school
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 under 7 will not memorize anything they
had
Wrong verb form
have
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 learned. So it is
waste
Correct article usage
a waste
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 of time and money for their mothers and fathers.
Moreover
Linking Words
, young people in that
age
Use synonyms
 want their families all the time to feel comfortable and safe. In
coclusion
Correct your spelling
conclusion
,
although
Linking Words
 there
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
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 some parents
oppose
Correct pronoun usage
who oppose
show examples
 the idea of kids entering
Use synonyms
school
Add an article
the school
show examples
 at the
age
Use synonyms
 of six and under, there
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
Correct article usage
a mom
show examples
mom
Fix the agreement mistake
moms
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 and
dad
Fix the agreement mistake
dads
show examples
 for it. In my perspective, I think children should
saty
Correct your spelling
sit
 at home and play with their families.

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task response
Make sure your introduction clearly states both views and your opinion. This helps the reader understand your essay's direction.
coherence cohesion
Use paragraphs to separate different ideas. This makes it easier for the reader to follow your argument.
task response
Provide more specific examples to support your points. This can make your arguments stronger and clearer.
coherence cohesion
Check your spelling and grammar as some errors can confuse the reader. For example, 'childern' should be 'children' and 'how' should be 'who'.
task response
You have clearly stated that you will discuss both views and give your opinion, which is a good start to the essay.
task response
Your conclusion reflects your opinion, which is important in IELTS essays.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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