IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3.5

Some people believe that it is better for children to grow up in the city, while others think the countryside is more suitable. Discuss both views and give your own opinion

It is often argued that it is better for
children
Use synonyms
 to grow up in the
countryside
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;
in contrast
Linking Words
, others think that city life offers more advantages. In
this
Linking Words
 essay, I will discuss both perspectives and provide a personal opinion. On the one hand, raising kids in rural
areas
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 could enhance their practical skills with
an
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
endless
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
activities and numerous health benefits
due to
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 the nutrition they have, and reduce many illnesses.
Additionally
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, a lot of mental health benefits for
children
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 who grow up in the
countryside
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.
For instance
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, a lot of research has established that being surrounded by nature could help the brain by having relaxation and enhancing
children
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 intellectually.
On the other hand
Linking Words
. It is undeniable that the lifestyle of cities more easier than the
countryside
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due to
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 the services, transportation and education.
In addition
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, those kids who grew up in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
urban
areas
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 have self-confidence
due to
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 their communication skills.
For example
Linking Words
, a modern city school
is focusing
Wrong verb form
focuses
show examples
 on improving its students' speech skills by
making
Verb problem
doing
show examples
 a lot of activities to add a motive and at the same time develop self-confidence. In conclusion,
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while
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
modern
areas
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 have countless advantages
due to
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 the improvements that have been made to ease the lifestyle. I believe that the
countryside
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 is more beautiful and healthier for
children
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 because of the organic food
has
Correct pronoun usage
that has
show examples
 been produced in urban
areas
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 and in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
charming nature.

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task achievement
Make sure to clearly state your opinion in the introduction and conclusion. This helps the reader understand your main point.
coherence and cohesion
Use linking words to connect ideas better, such as 'however', 'moreover', and 'for example'. This will help your essay to flow more smoothly.
task achievement
Try to provide more specific examples, especially in the advantages of city life. This can make your argument stronger.
task achievement
You discussed both sides of the argument clearly, showing a good understanding of the topic.
coherence and cohesion
The structure of your essay is clear with an introduction, body, and conclusion.

Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ ยป- a book that's free for ๐Ÿš€ Premium users.

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