Many people work for money while others say that there are more important aspects of job satisfaction. When choosing a job money is the most significant consideration. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience
There are several individuals and each person has their own goal whether in their studying, working, or even their lives. Many of them believe that the core thing in working is how much you earn,
while
others think differently, they think about job
satisfaction first and how they are pleased from
it. Change preposition
by
Whereas
thinking about money
is last
. From my perspective, there are no wrong opinions, and both of them are correct. However
, being delighted and pleased in your job
is important, whereas
many people
work
only to gain money
. This
essay will illustrate some reasons behind this
phenomenon.
On the one hand, choosing your own job
without thinking about money
gives you the chance to be a creative person. In other words
, people
concentrate more creatively on their occupation, which have chosen with love as well as
based on their skills. Moreover
, being frustrated from
their occupation would affect negatively Change preposition
by
in
their emotions and mentalities. Change preposition
apply
For instance
, several people
do not have the ability to work
with poor emotions, which will lead to zero achievements in their lives.
On the other hand
, people
have challenging circumstances due to
the lack of money
. More accurately, several people
indeed have requirements for money
, nonetheless
, it becomes their priority to deal with their situations, which they have been forced to think about criticism first. For example
, several people
have issues with their health and they cannot afford drugs due to
the lack of coins, as a result
, they have been forced to work
to earn money
.
In a nutshell, while
people
work
for money
, others believe that choosing the job
first and becoming pleased is more important to be more
creative and productive person.Add an article
a more
Submitted by talahakoura27 on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
task achievement
Your essay addresses the task and presents a balanced view on the importance of job satisfaction versus money. However, more specific examples and further development of each side's argument could enhance the completeness.
coherence cohesion
Ensure each paragraph progresses clearly and cohesively to the next, connecting ideas smoothly. Aim for a more varied use of linking words to improve the logical flow.
task achievement
You have successfully presented both sides of the argument, showing an understanding that both job satisfaction and financial necessity are important considerations.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, summarizing the core idea effectively.
Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+
Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!