IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Nowadays many people choose to be self-employed, rather than to work for a company or orgainsation. why might this be the case? what could be the disadvantages of self-employed?

Present days More person are
selects
Wrong verb form
selecting
show examples
 their own
business
Use synonyms
 rather than
to joined
Wrong verb form
joining
show examples
privte
Correct your spelling
private
 companies.
Self
Add a hyphen
Self-job
show examples
job
Use synonyms
 will allow more relaxation and
stressness
Correct your spelling
stress
although
Linking Words
 their a few drawbacks inbuilt in own
business
Use synonyms
.
This
Linking Words
 essay will discuss
Correct article usage
the reason
show examples
reason
Fix the agreement mistake
reasons
show examples
 and problems as per
given
Add an article
the given
a given
show examples
 statement.
Firstly
Linking Words
, in recent decades
peoples
Fix the agreement mistake
people
show examples
are
Verb problem
have
show examples
choosing
Wrong verb form
chosen
show examples
 a less
stress
Replace the word
stressful
show examples
life
Use synonyms
than
Rephrase
rather than
show examples
 making more
moneys
Change the wording
money
amounts of money
sums of money
show examples
.
Hence
Linking Words
, most of the people to start a
business
Use synonyms
instead
Linking Words
 of any organization or company
job
Use synonyms
. Their self
business
Use synonyms
giving
Wrong verb form
gives
show examples
 more satisfaction, relaxation and
own
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
growth. The
enterpreneur
Correct your spelling
entrepreneur
 has lots of
way
Change to a plural noun
ways
show examples
 to enhance their
business
Use synonyms
.
For example
Linking Words
, They can
promte
Correct your spelling
promote
 their products on social media pages without single money. In order to provide
a
Change the article
an
show examples
 advertisement available plethora
Change preposition
of flatporms
show examples
flatporms
Correct your spelling
platforms
,
such
Linking Words
 as
instagram
Change the capitalization
Instagram
show examples
,
face book
Correct your spelling
facebook
show examples
 or
linkedin
Correct your spelling
LinkedIn
.
Other
Change the wording
Another
show examples
 advantage is
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 If married
peoples
Fix the agreement mistake
people
show examples
 have more free
time
Use synonyms
 to enjoy
together
Correct pronoun usage
themselves together
show examples
 and take care
their
Change preposition
of their
show examples
 children .
On the other hand
Linking Words
, have few
downside
Change to a plural noun
downsides
show examples
 to
start
Wrong verb form
starting
show examples
 a
self profession
Add a hyphen
self-profession
show examples
. Long
time
Use synonyms
 to take to
success
Replace the word
succeed
show examples
 in
startup
Correct article usage
a startup
show examples
.
Due to
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
reason
Add a comma
reason,
show examples
finacial
Correct your spelling
financial
 struggle will impact
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
their
life
Use synonyms
. Some
humen
Correct your spelling
humans
 have to take
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 loan from
bank
Add an article
a bank
the bank
show examples
. If
Use synonyms
business
Add an article
the business
a business
show examples
 is not in
good
Correct article usage
a good
show examples
 position it way affect to return
back
Change preposition
of
show examples
 money to
bank
Add an article
the bank
show examples
 on
time
Use synonyms
. There may
chances
Add a missing verb
be chances
show examples
 to increase bank
intrest
Correct your spelling
interest
 double. It may influence personal
life
Use synonyms
.
Use synonyms
Business
Add an article
The business
show examples
 has no guarantee to return our money
however
Linking Words
, any
companies
Change noun form
company's
show examples
job
Use synonyms
 assured that guarantee. Private
job
Use synonyms
 has
time
Use synonyms
slot
Fix the agreement mistake
slots
show examples
 to do our work. After the
job
Use synonyms
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
peoples
Fix the agreement mistake
people
show examples
 are free to do their own personal
Use synonyms
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
show examples
.

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task achievement
Your introduction is unclear and has some grammar mistakes. It should be written more clearly. Make sure to clearly state your points about self-employment.
coherence and cohesion
Use paragraphs more clearly. Each paragraph should focus on one idea. This helps readers follow your points easily.
task achievement
Make sure to check your sentences for grammar. For example, 'More person are selects' should be 'More people are selecting'. Proper grammar makes your writing clearer.
task achievement
You provided some good reasons for why people choose self-employment. It shows you can think about the topic well.
task achievement
You mentioned social media as a way to promote business, which is relevant and useful.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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