Some modern artists receive huge sums of money for the things they create, while others struggle to survive. Governments should take steps to resolve this unfair situation. To what extent do you agree or disagree? JJ

Nowadays, in contemporary society, with the changes in the fine arts,

artists

Use synonyms

earn enormous money for the things they make,

while

Linking Words

there are some people who struggle to survive. Some people support that high institutions,

such

Linking Words

as governments, should prioritize

this

Linking Words

problem and take responsibility

to overcome

Change preposition

for overcoming

show examples

this

Linking Words

situation.

Hence

Linking Words

this

Linking Words

essay will discuss both perspectives. I believe that I agree that the government is responsible for managing

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

unfair conditions. It is undeniable that successful music producers and

artists

Use synonyms

earn huge earnings

due to

Linking Words

the combination of their hard work and talent,

while

Linking Words

creating a strong fan base for their career helps them to receive huge money too.

For instance

Linking Words

, many

artists

Use synonyms

invest years into building a loyal fan community that appreciates their work. The revenue they generate is not unfair to compare to someone else's earnings, but rather a reward for their art industry.

According to

Linking Words

this

Linking Words

, it is vital to recognize the effort that underlies

Change preposition

apply

show examples

their success.

Conversely

Linking Words

this

Linking Words

phenomenon, not all

artists

Use synonyms

reach the same level of financial success.

Furthermore

Linking Words

, there are people out there who struggle with finances and survive outside,

Linking Words

however

Add a comma

however,

show examples

it is

also

Linking Words

not fair to put every artist in the same category and judge them. To illustrate

this

Linking Words

, a street band has started to become known day by day, yet it has not reached its financial freedom. It is crucial to remember that success in any field requires personal and professional development.

Moreover

Linking Words

, governments should consider that not all

artists

Use synonyms

Add a missing verb

are in

show examples

the same situation, and both ends can lead to inequality.

Additionally

Linking Words

, I argue that the government to impose regulations on the earnings of successful individuals merely

due to

Linking Words

the presence of others who struggle financially. Bearing in mind the aforementioned statements, in conclusion, I support that the government must take a step to address income inequality among

artists

Use synonyms

is not appropriate. Each person is responsible for their career and the financial rewards

however

Linking Words

, there should a strict regulations to control the balance between income and expenditure to protect the community.

In addition

Linking Words

this

Linking Words

, governments may encourage the community to receive more taxes on the high budget from

Use synonyms

artists

Change noun form

artists'

artist's

show examples

works.

alarayazcSat Jun 21 2025

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coherence and cohesion

Try to organize your ideas more clearly. Each paragraph should focus on one main idea. This makes it easier for readers to follow your thoughts.

task achievement

Add more detailed examples or reasoning to support your points. This will help make your argument stronger and more convincing.

task achievement

Make sure you clearly state your opinion in the introduction and conclusion. This helps the reader understand your view on the topic better.

task achievement

You have a good understanding of the topic and present different viewpoints.

task achievement

Your use of examples shows your efforts to support your arguments, which is good.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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14
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

361 words

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Some modern artists receive huge sums of money for the things they create, while others struggle to survive. Governments should take steps to resolve this unfair situation. To what extent do you agree or disagree? JJ

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

Some people think that increasing the price of sugar is the best way to handle the crisis of obesity. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people from poor and rural backgrounds find it difficult to get a university education. Universities should make it easier for such groups to enrol. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Should children be taught to use a computer at a young age. Give the advantages and disadvantages to doing this.

1. Many countries now face an economic downturn so it is better for each country to focus on its problems rather than helping other countries. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Use specific reasons and examples to support your position.

Some parents choose to homeschool their children because they claim that it has a number of benefits. Others this that this educational method can cause a lot of problems. Discuss both views and give your opinion.