IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

19 .As the world has become technological advance, computer are replacing more and more jobs that maybe lose because of computer. Discuss at lear one problem that may result.

Use synonyms
ln
Correct your spelling
In
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 recent years,
the
Correct article usage
apply
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technology is one of the important things in our lives.
Moreover
Linking Words
, we noticed the technology has become more
improve
Wrong verb form
improved
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 that can control in some
jops
Correct your spelling
jobs
.
ln
Use synonyms
this
Linking Words
 essay,
l
Use synonyms
 will discuss the topic and give some reasons about how
the
Correct article usage
apply
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technology replacing jobs.
to begin
Linking Words
 with artificial intelligence, there are many AI in some
application
Fix the agreement mistake
applications
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 that can do more things like real humans. there is Chatgpt
this
Linking Words
 is Ai it can do
it
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apply
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evrything
Correct your spelling
everything
 and it is easy to get
this
Linking Words
.
For example
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,
l
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was have
Change the verb form
had
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math
Correct article usage
a math
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 exam and
l
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do
Wrong verb form
did
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 not understand the subject
also
Linking Words
l
Use synonyms
do
Wrong verb form
did
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 not have money to subscribe to
the
Correct article usage
a
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 tutor,
thus
Linking Words
l
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 went to the Chatgbt app and
l
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 tell my problem and it
explain
Wrong verb form
explained
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 the subject easily. Another point to consider, there are robots can take jobs from people.
For instance
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, in
chinase
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China
, it has a robot
work
Correct subject-verb agreement
works
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 as a cashier in a supermarket.
Use synonyms
ln
Correct your spelling
In
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 addition, they
are work
Change the verb form
are working
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 on cars,
such
Linking Words
 as, in the US, you can get a car and a robot takes you without a driver, so that
impact
Correct subject-verb agreement
impacts
show examples
for
Change preposition
apply
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Taxi or Upper
baceuse
Correct your spelling
because
the
Correct article usage
apply
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AI replaced their place. in the
future
Add a comma
future,
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l
Use synonyms
 believe it will be more things that will do
roports
Correct your spelling
robots
 as a human.
ln
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 conclusion,
that is
Linking Words
 a big problem in recent life, because a lot of students after
graduate
Change the verb form
graduating
show examples
 from
the
Correct article usage
apply
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school, they can not
found
Wrong verb form
find
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jobs and that
impact
Correct subject-verb agreement
impacts
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for
Change preposition
apply
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him
Correct pronoun usage
them
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 and lose the opportunity to
works
Change the verb
work
show examples
on
Change preposition
for
show examples
 companies or
another places
Replace the adjective
another place
other places
show examples

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task achievement
Your introduction should clearly state the problem you will discuss. Write a specific thesis statement at the end of the introduction.
coherence and cohesion
Make sure your points are connected. Use linking words like 'firstly', 'next', and 'in conclusion' to help the flow of your essay.
coherence and cohesion
Check your grammar and spelling. Words like 'there', 'jobs', and 'robots' should be spelled correctly.
task achievement
Provide more specific examples. For instance, give details about the jobs affected by robots in different industries.
task achievement
You introduced the topic and gave examples of technology replacing jobs, which shows understanding of the subject.

Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic

Problem-and-solution essays fall naturally into two parts, the first describing and exploring the problem, the second setting out the solution or solutions.

You essay structure should look something like this:

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – Problems
  • Body paragraph 2 – Solutions
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • One of the first problems of the...
  • Another problem that needs to be considered...
  • A possible solution to this problem would be...
  • One immediate practical solution is to...

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