IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

In many cities an increasing number of people do not know their neighbors and they seem no longer develop any sense of community. 1 Analyze the main reasons; 2 What measures can be taken to improve this?

During these days,a strange condition which is normal for especially young
man
Fix the agreement mistake
men
show examples
 has become more and more popular--they
do
Verb problem
are
show examples
 not
be
Verb problem
apply
show examples
familiar with their
neighbors
Use synonyms
 who should be the most familiar
people
Use synonyms
 except
your
Correct pronoun usage
their
show examples
 parents,and they choose not to develop any sense of community
then
Linking Words
.How
it
Add an auxiliary verb
does it work
did it work
show examples
work
Use synonyms
?
However
Linking Words
,what measures should
be take
Change the verb form
be taken
show examples
 to change
this
Linking Words
 condition?I do have some of my
opions
Correct your spelling
opinions
. As I think,there are two main reasons
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
this
Linking Words
 'unclose problem'.The first reason is that
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
 most of our
people
Use synonyms
,particularly the new generations have few
chances
Use synonyms
 to communicate or just meet our
Use synonyms
neighbors
Change the spelling
neighbours
show examples
.It's clear that the
press
Correct your spelling
pressure
show examples
 of school
work
Use synonyms
 and
live
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
work
Use synonyms
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
 so huge during these years.Students have to fall into the ocean of homework with several
after-school-classes
Correct your spelling
after-school classes
show examples
.Adults have to face the pressure from
work
Use synonyms
 and
live
Replace the word
life
show examples
,
such
Linking Words
 as the
extral
Correct your spelling
extra
work
Use synonyms
 time or long wasted time on the busy road.All of these facts make
people
Use synonyms
 hard to meet
neigbors
Correct your spelling
neighbours
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
or develop their community sense.The other reason is a change of
people
Use synonyms
's
mind
Fix the agreement mistake
minds
show examples
 --
people
Use synonyms
 tend to pay more attention to themselves,because of the
less
Change the quantifier
fewer
show examples
 functions of
Use synonyms
neighbors
Change the spelling
neighbours
show examples
.
The technology
Correct article usage
Technology
show examples
 keeps developing with more and more
convient
Correct your spelling
convenience
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
 our lives.We can talk with our friends on
wechat
Correct your spelling
WeChat
 but not meet
Use synonyms
neighbors
Change the spelling
neighbours
show examples
outdoor
Replace the word
outdoors
show examples
.We can
also
Linking Words
 buy almost anything online without any need to ask
Use synonyms
neighbors
Change the spelling
neighbours
show examples
 for help.The need to communicate with
Use synonyms
neighbors
Change the spelling
neighbours
show examples
 or develop
community
Correct article usage
a community
show examples
 is not important nowadays. To solve these problems,the core strategy is
make
Fix the infinitive
to make
show examples
 more needs and
chances
Use synonyms
 for
people
Use synonyms
 to meet
Use synonyms
neighbors
Change the spelling
neighbours
show examples
.The first measure is
Correct article usage
the orgenise
show examples
orgenise
Correct your spelling
organised
neighborhood
Change the spelling
neighbourhood
show examples
game
Fix the agreement mistake
games
show examples
,which can
make
Verb problem
give
show examples
Use synonyms
chances
Correct your spelling
changes
show examples
 to hold all
people
Use synonyms
 together to know each other better.The second measure
is make
Change the verb form
makes
show examples
 some
shop
Replace the word
shopping
show examples
 activities,just like 'If you buy goods with your
Use synonyms
neighbors
Change the spelling
neighbours
show examples
,both of you can get some discount!",which
make
Correct subject-verb agreement
makes
show examples
 value to
communicate
Wrong verb form
communicating
show examples
 with your
Use synonyms
neighbors
Change the spelling
neighbours
show examples
. With the
solvement
Correct your spelling
solution
 of need and
chances
Use synonyms
problem
Fix the agreement mistake
problems
show examples
,
people
Use synonyms
 would be much happier to get close
with
Change preposition
to
show examples
neighbors
Use synonyms
.
The society
Correct article usage
Society
show examples
 can get a closer and warmer
atomosphere
Correct your spelling
atmosphere
 as a good result.

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introduction conclusion
Make sure to introduce your topic clearly at the beginning. Improve your introduction and conclusion.
logical structure
Use clear paragraphs for each main idea. This will help your reader follow your thoughts better.
supported main points
Provide more specific examples or details to support your points. This helps make your argument stronger.
idea generation
You identified two important reasons for the problem, which is good.
idea generation
You suggested practical measures to improve the situation, showing good critical thinking.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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