Some people consider art to be essential and others think it is not. Which view do you agree with and why? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Art
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has always been an inseparable part of any civilization. There has been a heated debate for so long
that
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about
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if
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whether
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artwork is important,
while
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some support the notion and others disagree with it. There is no iota of doubt that craft is very essential for humans and the world. The upcoming paragraphs will discuss the importance of
art
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with reasons. 
To begin
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with, any kind of skill makes one more creative. It helps a person to do critical thinking,
thus
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helps
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helping
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to develop
more
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a more
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intellectual mindset. Moving
further
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, if one is interested in any craftsmanship, he would often be very successful by building up a professional career in the craft.
For example
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, Mochi, the Indian leather shoe brand which is very successful is owned by a person who learned
the
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apply
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cobbler skills from his father and developed
that
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them
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into
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in
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an artistic way. 
Furthermore
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, if we look at the wider view,
art
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can highly boost the country's economy as lots of
art
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exhibitions and auctions take place around the world that generate high revenue.
For instance
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, Canada has lots of
art
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display exhibitions going on for the people to enjoy which
benefit
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benefits
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country
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the country
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as well as
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public
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the public
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.
Last
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but not least, many people tend to find their solace in
art
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, some are happy to perform it
while
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others just enjoy it. In conclusion, I would say artwork might not be significant for those who may find it distracting from
academic
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their academic
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career but on
contrary
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the contrary
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, fine arts are a great asset to humanity and
world
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the world
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as
it
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they
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brings
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bring
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the
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apply
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gifts like creativity, career options, raising
national
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the national
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economy and peace to mind and body.

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coherence and cohesion
Make sure each paragraph has a clear main idea. Sometimes, your ideas are a bit mixed up.
task achievement
Try to give more specific examples to support your points. This will make your argument stronger.
positive
You have a strong introduction that clearly states your opinion.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Topic Vocabulary:
  • cultural expression
  • preserving cultural identity
  • foster creativity
  • critical thinking
  • emotional expression
  • economic activity
  • boost tourism
  • therapeutic effects
  • reduce stress
  • social commentary
  • promote social change
  • individual expression
  • personal fulfillment
  • sense of achievement
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