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Writing Samples
Band 7

The graph below shows the percentage of Australian exports to 4 countries from 1990 to 2012. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make the comparisons where relevant.

The graph below shows the percentage of Australian exports to 4 countries from 1990 to 2012. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make the comparisons where relevant.
The line graph given illustrates a comparison of Australian
exports
Use synonyms
 to 4 different nations between 1990 and 2012. From an
overall
Linking Words
 perspective, it is evident that the data on
exports
Use synonyms
 to
Japan
Use synonyms
 and the US saw a downward trend,
whereas
Linking Words
 a reverse pattern could be seen
the
Change preposition
in the
show examples
 figure for those to China and
India
Use synonyms
. In 1990, the number of
exports
Use synonyms
 to
Japan
Use synonyms
 was the highest, at around 26.
While
Linking Words
 the count of those in
India
Use synonyms
 was the lowest value. The US was lower than
Japan
Use synonyms
 at about 11. China was higher than
India
Use synonyms
 at around 2.3, in the following years, from 1995 to 2012, after decreasing to 20, the percentage of
exports
Use synonyms
 to
Japan
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, continuously fell, hitting a low of only about 17 in the final year. In the meantime, the figure
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
exports
Use synonyms
 to the US rose from around 8 in 1995 to around 13 in 2000, between 2000 and 2010, the
exports
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 to the US diminished from about 13 to 5. Following 2010, those grew to about 6. Meanwhile, there was a constant increase in the proportion of outbound trade to China, from about 3.5 in 1995 to about 28 in 2012.
While
Linking Words
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 imports to
India
Use synonyms
 remained between 1990 and 2000, the number of
exports
Use synonyms
 to
India
Use synonyms
 soared from about 2 in 2000 to about 8.5 in 2010, the next year, those declined to 5 in the final year.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words exports, japan, india with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 8 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 4 times.
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