The graphs below shows the number of shops that closed and the number of new shops that opened in one country between 2011 and 2018.

The graphs below shows the number of shops that closed and the number of new shops that opened in one country between 2011 and 2018.
IELTS Writing Task Chart for The graphs below shows the number of shops that closed and the number of new shops that opened in one country between 2011 and 2018.
The graph below provides key information about the number of
shops
Use synonyms
that closed
Linking Words
although
Correct word choice
and
show examples
the number of new
shops
Use synonyms
that opened in one country between 2011 and 2018. In
this
Linking Words
topic, I will write about what I see in these
showes
Correct your spelling
shows
.
First,
Linking Words
the number of
shops
Use synonyms
that closed in 2011 increased to about 6.500 . Almost the same as in 2012.
Moreover
Linking Words
, the rate of the
shops
Use synonyms
that closed
to
Fix the infinitive
apply
show examples
rose in 2013 to 7.000.
Also
Linking Words
, it decreased by nearly 6.400 in 2014. And the fee continued to decline until 2015 to
adout
Correct your spelling
about
0.500. And the rate of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
shops
Use synonyms
that closed increased in 2016 to about 5.000, the same as in 2017
although
Linking Words
2018.
Second,
Linking Words
the proportion of new
shops
Use synonyms
that opened increased to about 8.500 in 2011.
Moreovr
Correct your spelling
Moreover
, the percentage
decline
Wrong verb form
declined
show examples
in 2012 to 4.000. The percentage continued to
rising
Change the form of the verb
rise
show examples
until 2014 to 6.000.
Also
Linking Words
, it
go
Wrong verb form
went
show examples
down to 5.000 in 2015 , the same as in 2016 and 2017 .
Finally
Linking Words
, it decreased in 2018 to 3.000.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "also, although".
Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 85%.
Vocabulary: Replace the words shops with synonyms.
Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 3 times.
Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "decline" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "decreased" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 3 times.
Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 5 times.
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