IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

In some countries, students live with their family while studying at a university. In other countries, students attend university in another city. Do you think the advantages of living away from the family home while attending university outweigh the disadvantages?

After graduation ,
Use synonyms
student
Fix the agreement mistake
students
show examples
 have two options for
universiry
Correct your spelling
university
 education. In some countries ,
student
Use synonyms
 tend to stay with their near and dear ones
while
Linking Words
other
Fix the agreement mistake
others
show examples
relocated
Wrong verb form
relocate
show examples
 to new
place
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places
show examples
. Both trend have their own benefits and disadvantages . In my
opion
Correct your spelling
opinion
, Later have more weight
Linking Words
then
Replace the word
than
show examples
 the former ones . on
one
Correct article usage
the one
show examples
 hand , students who choose to stay
at
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the same place have few advantages .
firstly
Linking Words
, they got
personl
Correct your spelling
personal
 support in the case of catastrophic
even
Correct your spelling
event
show examples
. They always
got
Wrong verb form
get
show examples
 people to console them and will get a
guidence
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guidance
 to
comeout
Correct your spelling
come out
from
Change preposition
of
show examples
 that situation.
Secondly
Linking Words
, they can bring revolution in society if they stay among
masses
Correct article usage
the masses
show examples
. They work hard and become
sucessful
Correct your spelling
successful
 person
then
Linking Words
 they become
inspiration
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an inspiration
the inspiration
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 for other
member's
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members
member
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 of society .
On the other hand
Linking Words
 , young ones who
chose
Wrong verb form
choose
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 to
study
Use synonyms
abrod
Correct your spelling
abroad
 or
other
Change preposition
in other
show examples
 cities have greater chances of professional growth. Usually, better universities are established in urban areas. They provide
excellant
Correct your spelling
excellent
study
Use synonyms
 with better chances for placement
opprtunities
Correct your spelling
opportunities
. Graduates coming out from
top rank
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top-rank
show examples
 universities tend to get good annual packages of
incomes
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income
show examples
. Apart from that ,
Use synonyms
student
Fix the agreement mistake
students
show examples
 living
of
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on
show examples
his
Correct pronoun usage
their
show examples
 own become more independent and develop better communication
skilles
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skills
.
This
Linking Words
 soft skill has
became
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become
show examples
 the building
blockes
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blocks
 his
astonising
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astonishing
 growth.
In addition
Linking Words
, because of technological advancement ,
person
Add an article
a person
the person
show examples
 can
study
Use synonyms
 in
higher rank
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higher-ranking
show examples
institution
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institutions
show examples
 and go back to
community
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the community
show examples
 and do
work from home
Add a hyphen
work-from-home
show examples
 jobs . In
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 nutshell , Quality education is
eassential
Correct your spelling
essential
 to
get
Verb problem
achieve
show examples
enormouse sucess
Correct your spelling
enormous success
 in
carrier
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career
show examples
.With some
medarate
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medical
 adjustment ,
Use synonyms
student
Fix the agreement mistake
students
show examples
 who
study
Use synonyms
 away from home
has hight
Wrong verb form
have a higher
show examples
chances
Fix the agreement mistake
chance
show examples
 of
sucess
Correct your spelling
success
 in future.

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Task Achievement
Make sure your opinion is clear in the introduction and in the conclusion. You should restate your main idea in the conclusion to remind the reader.
Coherence and Cohesion
Use transition words to connect your ideas, such as 'firstly', 'on the other hand', and 'in addition'. This will help your reader follow your points more easily.
Coherence and Cohesion
Check your spelling and grammar, such as 'excellant' instead of 'excellent', and 'opprtunities' instead of 'opportunities'. This will improve your overall clarity.
Task Achievement
Include more specific examples to support your points. This could help make your argument stronger and more convincing.
Task Achievement
You presented a clear opinion on the topic and structured your essay into two main paragraphs discussing both sides. This is a good start!
Task Achievement
Your points about independence and professional growth in the second body paragraph are relevant and align well with your opinion of studying away from home.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • independence
  • life skills
  • meet new people
  • friends
  • cultural experience
  • focus
  • studies
  • distractions
  • loneliness
  • homesickness
  • financial
  • challenges
  • expenses
  • broad
  • city
  • campus
  • students
  • university
  • family
  • home
What to do next:
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