IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

It is important for all towns and cities to have large public outdoor places like squares and parks. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

In today's modern world, there
has
Verb problem
is
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 an ongoing debate about the importance of large-scale public outdoor areas,
such
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 as squares and parks, in urban cities. I firmly agree with
this
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 statement because,
although
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 there are a few issues, including space management in the city areas, it provides notable developments, particularly in all the sustainable aspects.
This
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 essay will examine the reasons that I mentioned previously, supporting my perspective, and providing relevant examples, before reaching a well-reasoned conclusion. The major benefit of large-scale public open spaces is increased social development. Nowadays, people who live in metropolises are really struggling with their social challenges. They
have
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do have
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 not enough time and ways to enjoy themselves with their relatives, especially friends and families. If they have these kinds of places, they strive to enjoy their lives with quality atmosphere and better views of greenery areas.
Consequently
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, the
overall
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 social development can be achieved.
For example
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, certain European nations,
such
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 as Germany and the UK, have introduced several natural parks in their cities, and
as a result
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, the bond
of
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between
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 families, the smallest unit of
the
Correct article usage
apply
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society, has been developed.
On the other hand
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, the other two sustainability aspects, economic and environmental, are
also
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 improved. A viable solution for global warming and CO2 emissions is these large public outdoor places.
For instance
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, a recent research study conducted by the University of Peradeniya (2024) revealed that nearly 22% of carbon emissions had been reduced after introducing the metropolis park project in Sri Lanka in 2020. In conclusion, taking everything into account, I reiterate my belief that I strongly agree with the statement of the vital of large open public places in urbanized towns
due to
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 several reasons: all the aspects of sustainability, namely economy, environment, and social.

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coherence and cohesion
Make sure each paragraph has a clear main idea, and stick to it throughout the paragraph.
task achievement
Provide more specific examples to support your points. More real-life situations can make your argument stronger.
coherence and cohesion
Try to restate your main points in the conclusion more clearly to reinforce your argument and help the reader remember your ideas.
coherence and cohesion
You presented your main argument clearly and logically, which makes it easy to follow your thoughts.
task achievement
You provided a relevant example from your research, which adds credibility to your arguments.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • public outdoor spaces
  • community events
  • social cohesion
  • community engagement
  • quality of urban life
  • physical activities
  • public health and wellbeing
  • environmental benefits
  • reduce pollution
  • urban wildlife
  • aesthetic appeal
  • inclusive access
  • economic benefits
  • local businesses
  • tourists attractions
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