Today many children suffer from obesity and poor health. This is a direct result of today's lifestyle. Give reasons to explain why children are overweight and also offer some solutions to address this issue.

.. The world has changed drastically over the past few decades and nowhere is
this
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more evident than in the way
children
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live
today
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.
Children
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today
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suffer from obesity and other related health issues.
This
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can be directly attributed to
today
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's lifestyle.
This
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essay will identify the specific reasons for
this
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dilemma
as well as
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offer solutions to correct
this
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problem. There are many serious reasons to explain why
children
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are overweight.
First,
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kids and boys eat a lot of chocolate and different types of sugar. Sweets are high in
calories
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and
this
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increases the weight in rapid fashion.
Also
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, it is a main cause of diabetes .
Second,
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due to
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their love affair with technology, they do not exercise or play sports, as in the past.
Last
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but not least is the lack of sleep that young people get
today
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.
Children
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are up at all hours of the day and night playing video games and being online.
This
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,
along with
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some snacking, completely undermines their health.
However
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, there are many amazing solutions available to confront
this
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issue.
First,
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children
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need to eat healthy snacks and count their
calories
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.
For example
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, a child needs 2000
calories
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per day. Nowadays
children
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are eating 5000
calories
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which causes overweight.
Second,
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going to the gym is a really important solution for burning body fat and gaining some muscles. Whether playing sports or running on a treadmill for an hour each day,
children
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need to get more exercise.
Finally
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,
children
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should understand the value of sleep and improve their sleeping habits. A recent study showed that
children
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require at least twelve hours of sleep. In conclusion, it is obvious that there are several reasons responsible for creating a generation of
children
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that are overweight and in questionable health.
However
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, there are a number of solid solutions to help correct
this
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problem.

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coherence and cohesion
Make sure each paragraph has a clear main idea and that all sentences in the paragraph support that main idea.
task achievement
Use more detail and specific examples to support your points. This will make your arguments stronger.
coherence and cohesion
Make sure to link your ideas between sentences and paragraphs more clearly. Use linking words like 'firstly', 'secondly', 'however', etc.
positive
Good structure with a clear introduction and conclusion.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example
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