At present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people. Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?

Nowadays, young adults comprise a large number of some countries’

population

Fix the agreement mistake

populations

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compared to the older ones. In

this

Linking Words

essay, the merits in terms of increasing a country’s income and having a healthier community and demerits in terms of more dangerous

behaviors

Change the spelling

behaviours

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and accommodation problems will be discussed. One of the main advantages of a young population is their enormous energy to work. When a nation is young, many of its citizens are keen to work in various sectors, which leads to the existence of more businesses and

consequently

Linking Words

paying more taxes to their government.

As a result

Linking Words

, the authorities can provide a better quality of life for their people. Another important thing is having a healthier community. The majority of complicated diseases and disabilities are more common among the

elderlies

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elderly

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compared to the younger ones.

The young

Correct article usage

Young

show examples

adults can easily spend a fraction of their time

to exercise

Change the verb form

exercising

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in their workplaces, which helps them to have a healthier body and mind. Unlike the

elderlies

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elderly

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, these youngsters do not need plenty of costly and long-term medical services, because chronic

disease

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diseases

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are less frequent at their ages.

On the other hand

Linking Words

, one of the main disadvantages of having a young society is the high risk of dangerous

behaviors

Change the spelling

behaviours

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. The youngsters have plenty of energy and enthusiasm. If they do not discharge

this

Linking Words

energy properly, it is highly likely that they turn to aggressive

behaviors

Change the spelling

behaviours

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including violation.

As a result

Linking Words

, the crime rate might become higher and there will be an unsafe society. Another demerit is the accommodation. These days,

due to

Linking Words

industrialization, the majority of young people live and work in big cities. Because factories and many businesses are located in towns,

this

Linking Words

number is increasing each year.

Thus

Linking Words

, the need for proper accommodation will rise as well. In order to provide housing, skyscrapers and multi-store buildings and shopping facilities should be built, which cost too much money and

also

Linking Words

even these places may not be enough. In conclusion,

although

Linking Words

some disadvantages including housing problems and high crime rates could happen

due to

Linking Words

the high number of youngsters in a community, the benefits including more productivity and

incomes

Fix the agreement mistake

income

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as well as

Linking Words

less

Change the quantifier

fewer

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health problems are more important.

m.lotfipour92Tue Jun 24 2025

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task achievement

Add more specific examples to support your ideas. This helps make your argument stronger.

coherence and cohesion

Use linking words (like 'firstly', 'however', 'in addition') to connect your ideas better.

coherence and cohesion

Make sure your paragraphs focus on one main point each to improve clarity.

coherence and cohesion

Your introduction and conclusion clearly state your main points, which is good.

task achievement

You have identified both advantages and disadvantages, showing a balanced view, which is great for task response.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
11
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

365 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

demographic
workforce
productivity
innovation
skilled labor
social development
technology
dividend
competition
resources
social welfare
unrest
instability
healthcare
elderly care

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At present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people. Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?

Your opinion

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience

Some people believe that violence on television and in computer games has a damaging effect on the society. Others deny that these factors have any significant influence on people's behaviour. What is your opinion?

Many museums charge for admission while others are free. Do you think the advantages of charging people for admission to museums outweigh the disadvantages?

Nowadays, many people choose to be self-employed, rather than to work for a company or organisation. Why might this the case ? What could be the disadvantages of being self-employed?

Some people believe that the main purpose of schools is to turn children into good citizens and workers instead of benefiting them individually. To what extent do you agree or disagree?