IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

In some countries ,MANY PEOPLE SUFFER FROM HEALTH PROBLEMS due to eating to much fast food . IT ISTHERTEFORE ,necessary for goverments to impose a higher tax on this kind of food . Do you agree or disagree

There is no doubt that
healthy
Replace the word
health
show examples
 is important
especially
Add the comma(s)
, especially
show examples
 with those day's routine. The health problems became popular among
people
Use synonyms
. The
healthy
Replace the word
health
show examples
 disorders
are enhancing
Wrong verb form
requiring
show examples
 the government to find a solution
include
Wrong verb form
including
show examples
apply
Wrong verb form
applying
show examples
vat
Correct your spelling
VAT
show examples
.
The fast
Correct article usage
Fast
show examples
food
Use synonyms
 is the worst kind of
food
Use synonyms
 because it
related
Add a missing verb
is related
show examples
 to high
level
Fix the agreement mistake
levels
show examples
 of
healthy
Replace the word
health
show examples
 problems. On the one hand,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
fast
food
Use synonyms
 became strongly widely spread
thoes
Correct your spelling
these
 days.
Frist
Correct your spelling
First
show examples
, the consuming
time
Use synonyms
 the
restrant
Correct your spelling
restaurant
need
Correct subject-verb agreement
needs
show examples
 to prepare the
food
Use synonyms
 is highly less than normal
food
Use synonyms
.
For instance
Linking Words
, if you request
burger
Correct article usage
a burger
show examples
 from
burger king
Correct your spelling
Burger King
show examples
 the
preparing
Replace the word
preparation
show examples
time
Use synonyms
 will not exceed 10 minutes
in contrast
Linking Words
 with that
food
Use synonyms
which
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
make
Wrong verb form
is made
show examples
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
home.
Second,
Linking Words
the taste of junk
food
Use synonyms
is delouse
Change the verb form
is deloused
is delousing
show examples
 which has the acceptance of
people
Use synonyms
.
Linking Words
This
Change the determiner
These
show examples
 strong points cover the diseases that
associated
Add a missing verb
are associated
show examples
 with
this
Linking Words
 side of
food
Use synonyms
.
On the other hand
Linking Words
,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
junk
food
Use synonyms
 is causing several diseases.
Thus
Linking Words
, the
people
Use synonyms
 who
eats
Change the verb form
eat
show examples
 a lot of fast
food
Use synonyms
 will suffer in a long
time
Use synonyms
.
For example
Linking Words
, some
people
Use synonyms
 who
eats
Change the verb form
eat
show examples
to
Replace the word
too
show examples
 much junk
food
Use synonyms
,
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
will
be surprise
Change the verb form
be surprised
show examples
 by
Correct article usage
the diagnosisd
show examples
diagnosisd
Correct your spelling
diagnosis
them
Change the pronoun
their
show examples
 cancer. In that moment there is no
time
Use synonyms
 to treat the illness.
In addition
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
 disease is going to cost
people
Use synonyms
 huge amounts of money. Clearly, the money which the patient saves, he will pay it back to treat that ill.
Also
Linking Words
, the government applies high taxes that will not accepted for
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 first
time
Use synonyms
 but they will see the benefit of
this
Linking Words
 in old age. To summarize, fast
food
Use synonyms
not
Add a missing verb
is not
show examples
 considered healthy
food
Use synonyms
 for the body.
People
Use synonyms
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
should be concerned about their health by protecting themselves from toxic substances.

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Introduction/Conclusion
Make sure to clearly state your opinion in the introduction. Also, explain it more in the conclusion.
Structure
Use clear paragraphs to separate your ideas. Each paragraph should focus on one main point.
Content
Use more specific and clear examples to support your main points about health problems. For instance, provide details about diseases that fast food can cause.
Content
Your essay has important ideas about health problems caused by fast food.
Content
You mentioned specific examples like cancer, which helps to support your argument.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • health
  • problems
  • fast food
  • government
  • impose
  • tax
  • eat
  • necessary
  • people
  • suffer
  • obesity
  • diabetes
  • convenient
  • cheap
  • consume
  • encourage
  • revenue
  • fund
  • nutrition
  • awareness
  • responsibility
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