Do you believe that the rise of cryptocurrencies brings more benefits or risks to individuals and the global economy? Support your opinion with relevant examples and arguments!
In today's era, traditional financial services are facing pressure with the emergence of cryptocurrencies. Roughly, the concept of
crypto
is a currency without banks and without human touch, purely digital. The growing popularity of crypto
has challenged the conventional banking system. However
, crypto
must have risks too. This
essay will discuss the benefits and risks of cryptocurrencies.
Cryptocurrency offers several advantages when sending money to friends or relatives abroad. Unlike traditional banks that must have another person as a third party and require exchange rates, admin fees, and delays, crypto
transactions are swift and cost-effective. Besides
that, we do not have to worry because the robust security system of cryptocurrency enhances its safety. In addition
, being a globally accepted currency, crypto
can be used anywhere in the world, providing convenience and accessibility. In contrast
to banks, crypto
operates 24 hours daily, allowing for quick and efficient transactions at any time.
On the other side, crypto
can be very risky if it is not used wisely. Its volatility can change rapidly in just a few seconds. There is danger in investing in fake and unauthorized crypto
projects, as some owners may intentionally drop the crypto
's price and disappear with the funds. Morover
, another risk is if the Correct your spelling
Moreover
crypto
platform holding our wallet suddenly goes bankrupt or disappears with the money, and we cannot take legal action due to
the lack of the law. Law enforcement agencies cannot punish the perpetrators due to
the absence of regulations governing
.
In conclusion, Correct pronoun usage
governing them
while
cryptocurrencies bring benefits like swift transactions and global accessibility, they also
come with risks. The rapid changes in crypto
values and the dangers of investing in unauthorized projects highlight the need for careful consideration. Moreover
, the absence of regulations can pose challenges in addressing legal issues and protecting users.Submitted by jidiyosua on
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coherence cohesion
Ensure that your essay has a clear and logical structure throughout, with each paragraph having a clear purpose and linking to the overall argument. While you generally structured the essay well, make sure that the ideas flow even more smoothly between paragraphs to enhance readability and coherence.
coherence cohesion
Introduction and conclusion are present and structured, but ensure that the conclusion effectively encapsulates the main points discussed in the essay. Enhance your concluding statements to leave a stronger final impression on the reader.
coherence cohesion
Support your main points with ample evidence and examples. While your essay provides some evidence, strive to include more detailed examples to strengthen the arguments.
task achievement
You have somewhat satisfactorily completed the task by providing arguments for both sides, but the response could be enhanced by providing a more explicit opinion as the question asks for your belief on whether cryptocurrencies bring more benefits or risks. Address the task more directly to improve clarity and relevance.
task achievement
Though your essay presents some clear and comprehensive ideas, aim to develop your arguments further to fully explore the implications of the topic in question. Do not merely state advantages and disadvantages; analyze their impact and provide insights on their broader significance to individuals and the global economy.
task achievement
You've included relevant examples, but they could be more specific and directly linked to concrete scenarios or real-world cases to illustrate your point more vividly.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+
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