IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3.5

Some countries have age 4 as a minimum requirement for admission into schools, whereas other countries believe that age 7 should be the minimum requirement. What is the situation in your country? What do you think is the right age to enter schooling?

There is a growing debate about whether
children
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 should enter
school
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 at
age
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four
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 or seven years old , some countries have
age
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four
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 as a minimum requirement ,
while
Linking Words
 others
belive
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believe
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 that
age
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 seven should
more
Add a missing verb
be more
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 appropriate. In
this
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 essay ,
i
Change the capitalization
I
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 will
preview
Correct your spelling
review
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 the situation in my country before presenting my opinion. In my country , most
children
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 start
school
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 when they are
four
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 or five years old .
Firstly
Linking Words
, they go to
kindergarden
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kindergarten
, where they can learn simple things like
alphapets
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alphabets
, numbers ,
colors
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colours
show examples
, and shapes . Adding on , they learn how to play with others . Many parents think that it is good for
children
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 to start early because it helps them to get ready for real
school
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. In my opinion , the best
age
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 for a kid to enter schooling is at
age
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 5 or 6 . I think that
age
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four
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 is too early for a child to sit and learn for a long period of time . Adding on ,
start
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starting
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 schooling at
age
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 7 may be too late ,
that
Correct pronoun usage
which
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 can lead to missing important learning and social skills . In conclusion ,
while
Linking Words
 some believe starting
school
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 at
age
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four
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 can
helps
Wrong verb form
help
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children
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 learn early . other
thinks
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things
show examples
 that
age
Use synonyms
 seven is more suitable for emotional development . In my view ,
balance
Correct article usage
a balance
show examples
approch
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approach
 is the best .

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task achievement
Make your introduction clearer and more direct. Clearly state your opinion in the introduction.
coherence and cohesion
Check your spelling and grammar. For example, 'alaphylabets' should be 'alphabets' and 'belive' should be 'believe'.
coherence and cohesion
Try to clearly separate your ideas with paragraphs. Each paragraph should have one clear point to discuss.
structure
You have a good structure in your essay with an introduction, body, and conclusion.
opinion
You present a clear opinion about the age you believe is best for starting school.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • minimum requirement
  • admission
  • early childhood development
  • socialization
  • developmental readiness
  • educational perspectives
  • optimal
  • compulsory education
  • cognitive skills
  • emotional maturity
  • peer interaction
  • academic preparedness
  • curriculum adaptation
  • pedagogical approaches
  • developmental milestones
What to do next:
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