IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

As the number of cars increases, more money has to be spent on road systems. Some people think the government should pay for this. Others, however, think that the users should cover the costs. Discuss and give your opinion.

With the latest increase
inthe
Correct your spelling
in the
 number of cars using the streets, there
has
Change the verb form
have
show examples
 been an increment
inexpenses
Correct your spelling
in expenses
 to
maintainthe
Correct your spelling
maintain the
 public
roadsystems
Correct your spelling
road systems
 properly.
Whereas
Linking Words
, a group of individuals firmly believe that local governments should cover the costs, others claim that the cost must be paid by
users
Use synonyms
. I strongly think that governments should assume
this
Linking Words
 payment because they have a budget dedicated to
this
Linking Words
 topic. On the one hand, the primary reason
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
which
Correct word choice
why
show examples
 city halls should take responsibility for
maintenance
Correct article usage
the maintenance
show examples
 of public routes is based on the fact that
users
Use synonyms
 pay taxes, permits, parking, etcetera.
Consequently
Linking Words
, considering that these economic resources go to public institutions,
then
Linking Words
 is part of their fundamental role to keep the roads in optimal conditions and safe for citizens.
Moreover
Linking Words
, if
users
Use synonyms
 were in charge of solving
this
Linking Words
 issue it would be a big probability that they could not coordinate the required work efficiently.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, proponents argue that when the government pays everyone is paying, taking into consideration that the money invested to fix the roads comes from taxes.
Nevertheless
Linking Words
, it can not be forgotten that a part of
this
Linking Words
 income is from the payments that car
users
Use synonyms
 make every year to be allowed to drive their cars on the streets every day.
For instance
Linking Words
, I remember one time
that
Correct word choice
when
show examples
 my father forgot the
payment
Replace the word
pay
show examples
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the permit for his vehicle and when the police controlled him he received a traffic fine,
additionally
Linking Words
, the policemen told him to update his permit
otherwise
Linking Words
, next time he would have to leave his automobile there.
To conclude
Linking Words
,
certainly
Add a comma
certainly,
show examples
 both views have their point clearly exposed.
However
Linking Words
, I firmly believe that local governments are the ones that have to solve
this
Linking Words
 problem.

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task achievement
Make sure to clearly outline your main points in the introduction. This helps the reader understand your argument better.
coherence and cohesion
Use linking words (however, moreover) more consistently to improve the flow between your ideas.
task achievement
Add more specific examples or details to support your points, this could strengthen your argument.
task achievement
The essay has a clear opinion stated in the introduction, which is important for task achievement.
task achievement
You presented both sides of the argument, which shows understanding of the topic.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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