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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The charts below show the results of a survey of adult education. The first chart shows the reasons why adults decide to study. The pie chart shows how people think the costs of adult education should be shared. Write a report for a university lecturer, describing the information shown below.

The charts below show the results of a survey of adult education. The first chart shows the reasons why adults decide to study. The pie chart shows how people think the costs of adult education should be shared. Write a report for a university lecturer, describing the information shown below.
The two charts give information about adult education. The first bar chart illustrates the reasons why
adult
Fix the agreement mistake
adults
show examples
 prefer to study,
while
Linking Words
second
Correct article usage
the second
show examples
 one shows the proportion of each course's cost. The main facts that stand out
that
Add a missing verb
is that
show examples
 are
majority
Add an article
the majority
a majority
show examples
 of people study because of
Correct pronoun usage
their interests
show examples
interests
Fix the agreement mistake
interest
show examples
to
Change preposition
in
show examples
subject
Add an article
the subject
show examples
 and to gain qualifications about 78%.
Linking Words
While
Correct word choice
When
show examples
 adults decide to take education, they
believes
Change the verb form
believe
show examples
 that the costs of course must be divided
to
Change preposition
into
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
three main parts. Well over
three quarters
Add a hyphen
three-quarters
show examples
 prefer to learn
their
Change the word
the
show examples
 subjects that
interests
Correct subject-verb agreement
interest
show examples
 them or take a
diplom
Correct your spelling
diploma
 on
specific
Add an article
the specific
a specific
show examples
 degree.
While
Linking Words
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
just over half make an effort on education to make their current job easier and gain
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
joy.
Moreover
Linking Words
, just 20% of people want to study for
a new relationships
Correct the article-noun agreement
new relationships
a new relationship
show examples
 and to change jobs. Before
to take
Change the verb form
taking
show examples
 a course adults think that the cost should be divided into 3 main parts.
The
Correct article usage
A
show examples
 quarter of
proportion
Correct article usage
the proportion
show examples
 for tax and nearly
one - third
Correct your spelling
one-third
show examples
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
 workers. Just 40% of
cost
Add an article
the cost
show examples
 should go to the owner.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "charts" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "divided" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • percentage distribution
  • stakeholders
  • pursue further education
  • financial contribution
  • survey results
  • policy implications
  • correlation
  • adult education
  • distribution of costs
  • significant differences
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