A large company in your area has decided to spend a certain amount of money, either to sponsor a local children's sports team for two years or to pay for two open-air concerts. It has asked for feedback from the general public. Write a letter to the company. In your letter: • describe the benefits of sponsoring the sports team • summarise the benefits of paying for the concerts • say how you think the company should spend the money

#company #area #amount #money #sponsor #children #sports #team #two #years #concerts #feedback #summarise

Dear Sir, I hope

this

letter finds you well. I am Nezzy and I have been residing in

this

local area for many years now. I would like to give you my feedback

upon

Change preposition

show examples

the recent matter.

Firstly

, for your

information

Add a comma

information,

show examples

our local children's sports team has been doing very well for the past couple of years. They have been training very hard and are very dedicated

with

Change preposition

show examples

their

practises

Replace the word

practices

show examples

In addition

, they have a remarkable coach to train and

motivates

Correct subject-verb agreement

motivate

show examples

them. If the sponsorship

been

Add a missing verb

had been

show examples

given to them,

this

would definitely boost their morale to compete for the regional.

Furthermore

, they can get new

equipments

Change the wording

equipment

types of equipment

pieces of equipment

show examples

to enhance their practises. I am certain

this

can be very beneficial for our name and reputation.

On the other hand

, sponsoring the concerts has

their

Correct pronoun usage

its

show examples

own benefits. Not only we can attract people to come to our place but we can

also

create a

charity based

Add a hyphen

charity-based

show examples

concert to gain funds for

good

Correct article usage

a good

show examples

cause. In conclusion, both of these carry their own benefits.

However

, I am more inclined that you would give the sponsorship to our local children's sports team for the aforementioned reasons. Thank you. Kind regards, Nezzy

Submitted by Nezzy on Tue Oct 08 2024

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Coherence

Ensure paragraph transitions are smooth and ideas connect more seamlessly.

Task Achievement

Consider addressing potential counterarguments or broader impacts for a more comprehensive response.

Coherence

Clear opening and closing, which helps the coherence of the letter.

Task Achievement

The response effectively covers all points in the task prompt, showing a clear understanding of the task.

Task Achievement

The tone of the letter is appropriate and polite, suitable for a formal letter to a company.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
10Grammar mistakes
 

8 paragraphs

195 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Greeting and closing

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 8.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

6
band
Some people think that the success of life is based on hard work and determination. Others, however, believe that there are more important factors, such as having money or a good appearance. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
People believe being successful is essential for individuals. There is a known belief among some people that hard work and determination are the keys to success in life. However, another group of people think that some extra factors like a wealthy and attractive looking play a role in being successful. This essay will argue both sides, and finally, I will explore my own idea.
4.5
band
some people take up the temporary jobs so that they have more time to do the other things. Does the advantage outweigh the disadvantages?
After the pandemic, the patterns of work life balance have changed a lot. The methods instilled earlier for working are seen now in different perspective. Earlier people used to focus all, on their primary goal or dream job or profession, but now they have shifted to take some temporary jobs to do some other things.
5.5
band
In many countries, paying for things using mobile phone (cellphone) apps is becoming increasingly common. Does this development have more advantages or more disadvantages?
In this contemporary era, an increasing number of citizens globally, are adopting the usage of digital payments via smartphones applications as the primary mode of transaction. I strongly believe that this trend has multiple benefits and more about this will be discussed in this essay.
7
band
It is important for people to take risks, both in their professional lives and their personal lives. Do you think the advantages of taking risks outweigh the disadvantages?
These days, one of the most important things in personal and professional lives is to take risks, whose benefits outweigh its drawbacks like making progress in both lives which leads to a successful life.
7
band
It is becoming increasingly expensive to keep museums open to public. What do you think is the best way of funding them (e.g. government, businesses or individuals)?
In the current world , individuals think that authorities should invest tax-payer income to develop and fix the healthcare sector , while others disagree and suggest the utilization of this money in other areas . I personally believe that healthcare enhancement is indispensable . So, huge investments should be established in order to provide the optimum prevention and treatment to the community . On one hand , those who are against the government's full funding for healthcare institutions tackled other crucial concerns such as climate change , transport and education . They suggested equal funding to each sector , and they claimed that because they are the ones who pay the taxes ; they have the right to decide how to divide them . Some added that people should pay for their healthcare services and insurance companies can cover a wide range of the treatments offered . Conversely , some argue that healthcare is the most important fundamental service to be provided and should be totall...

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Some people think that the success of life is based on hard work and determination. Others, however, believe that there are more important factors, such as having money or a good appearance. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

some people take up the temporary jobs so that they have more time to do the other things. Does the advantage outweigh the disadvantages?

In many countries, paying for things using mobile phone (cellphone) apps is becoming increasingly common. Does this development have more advantages or more disadvantages?

It is important for people to take risks, both in their professional lives and their personal lives. Do you think the advantages of taking risks outweigh the disadvantages?

It is becoming increasingly expensive to keep museums open to public. What do you think is the best way of funding them (e.g. government, businesses or individuals)?