IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6

A large company in your area has decided to spend a certain amount of money, either to sponsor a local children's sports team for two years or to pay for two open-air concerts. It has asked for feedback from the general public. Write a letter to the company. In your letter: • describe the benefits of sponsoring the sports team • summarise the benefits of paying for the concerts • say how you think the company should spend the money

#company #area #amount #money #sponsor #children #sports #team #two #years #concerts #feedback #summarise
Dear Sir, I hope
this
 letter finds you well. I am Nezzy and I have been residing in
this
 local area for many years now. I would like to give you my feedback
upon
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on
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 the recent matter.
Firstly
, for your
information
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information,
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 our local children's sports team has been doing very well for the past couple of years. They have been training very hard and are very dedicated
with
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to
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 their
practises
Replace the word
practices
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.
In addition
, they have a remarkable coach to train and
motivates
Correct subject-verb agreement
motivate
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 them. If the sponsorship
been
Add a missing verb
had been
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 given to them,
this
 would definitely boost their morale to compete for the regional.
Furthermore
, they can get new
equipments
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equipment
types of equipment
pieces of equipment
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 to enhance their practises. I am certain
this
 can be very beneficial for our name and reputation.
On the other hand
, sponsoring the concerts has
their
Correct pronoun usage
its
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 own benefits. Not only we can attract people to come to our place but we can
also
 create a
charity based
Add a hyphen
charity-based
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 concert to gain funds for
good
Correct article usage
a good
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 cause. In conclusion, both of these carry their own benefits.
However
, I am more inclined that you would give the sponsorship to our local children's sports team for the aforementioned reasons. Thank you. Kind regards, Nezzy
Submitted by Nezzy on

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Coherence
Ensure paragraph transitions are smooth and ideas connect more seamlessly.
Task Achievement
Consider addressing potential counterarguments or broader impacts for a more comprehensive response.
Coherence
Clear opening and closing, which helps the coherence of the letter.
Task Achievement
The response effectively covers all points in the task prompt, showing a clear understanding of the task.
Task Achievement
The tone of the letter is appropriate and polite, suitable for a formal letter to a company.
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