IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3

SOME PEOPLE FEEL THAT THERE SHOUD BE A FIXED PUNISHMENT FOR EACH TYPE OF CRIME. OTHERS Thought THAT THE CIRUMSTANCES OF AN OFFENCE SHOULD BE TAKEN IN TO ACCOUNT WHEN DECIDING ON A PUNISHMENT. DISCUSS BOTHE SIDES AND GIVE YOUR OWN OPINION.

3.0 / 9
Band scoreView breakdown ↓
✍️ Want to check your own essay?Write on this topic →
Introduction
there
no
Add a missing verb
is no
show examples
 denying the fact that the type of
Use synonyms
panishment
Correct your spelling
punishment
 for any
crime
Use synonyms
 is arguable.
while
Linking Words
 it is commonly held belief that the government should impose a fixed penalty for each
crime
Use synonyms
, there is
also
Linking Words
 an argument that
Correct article usage
the cirumstances
show examples
cirumstances
Correct your spelling
circumstances
 of an offence
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
 one of the things it should taken
in to
Correct your spelling
into
show examples
 account
befor
Correct your spelling
before
Use synonyms
Correct article usage
a panishment
show examples
panishment
Correct your spelling
punishment
 decision.
Body paragraph 1
this
Linking Words
 essay will
analise
Correct your spelling
analyse
 the topic from both
part
Change to a plural noun
parts
show examples
 of
view
Add an article
the view
a view
show examples
 and express my opinion.
Body paragraph 2
on one hand, knowing
Use synonyms
Correct article usage
the panishment
show examples
panishment
Correct your spelling
punishment
 type may help to decrease crimes as people will
understsnd
Correct your spelling
understand
 the
Use synonyms
panishment
Correct your spelling
punishment
 level if they
doing
Wrong verb form
do
show examples
 any
crime
Use synonyms
.
in other words
Linking Words
, fixed punishment irrespective of
circumstances
Correct article usage
the circumstances
show examples
 of an offence will
reduse
Correct your spelling
reduce
 the amount of
crime
Use synonyms
 in the world.
Body paragraph 3
on the other hand
Linking Words
, some
individual
Fix the agreement mistake
individuals
show examples
 believe that the
dicision
Correct your spelling
decision
 of
affence
Correct your spelling
offence
affiance
Use synonyms
panishment
Correct your spelling
punishment
banishment
shoud
Correct your spelling
should
be depends
Wrong verb form
depend
show examples
 on the severity of
Use synonyms
crime
Add an article
the crime
show examples
 and it is circumstances. it
possble
Correct your spelling
possible
 to say that the same
crime
Use synonyms
 may have
different
Add an article
a different
show examples
 situation.
Body paragraph 4
therefore
Linking Words
, the judge must know all aspects of the
crime
Use synonyms
 to achieve justice.
for instance
Linking Words
, murder is
acrime
Correct your spelling
a crime
, but it may be unintentional.
Conclusion
in conclusion, there
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
 no easy answers to
this
Linking Words
 question. on balance,
however
Linking Words
, in my
opinion
Add a comma
opinion,
show examples
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 consider that
government
Correct article usage
the government
show examples
 must prohibit fixed
penalty
Fix the agreement mistake
penalties
show examples
 and take
circumstances
Correct article usage
the circumstances
show examples
 of an offence
in to
Correct your spelling
into
show examples
 account to
avhieve
Correct your spelling
achieve
 justice.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response
Your introduction should clearly state both sides of the argument and your opinion. Make sure to correct spelling mistakes such as 'punishment' and 'circumstances.'
coherence and cohesion
Organize your ideas more clearly in paragraphs. Each paragraph should focus on one main idea to help the reader follow your argument better.
task response
You have identified the key arguments for both sides of the discussion.
task response
Your conclusion summarizes your opinion well, showing your stance on the issue.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • deterrent
  • subjective bias
  • rehabilitation
  • circumstances
  • prejudices
  • streamline
  • nuanced
  • predetermined
  • ethical considerations
  • consistent legal system
What to do next:
Look at other essays: